Shay Anything
by Lonestarr
Summary: The heart wants what it wants, even if the rest of us doesn't realize it, yet.  Yes, this is the story you're thinking of.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: First story. Go easy on me. This was a plot bunny :/

Kigo! :D

I'll admit, someone else wrote a fic like this, but I don't remember who...but this is my version, I guess.

Stole some other ideas from other fics, too. Mainly the skin-patch. If you know where it's from, awesome!

Disclaimer: Don't own jack shit.

(New disclaimer: Alex Barker started this story, but he lost interest in it, and asked if someone wanted to adopt it. The first ten chapters of the story shall remain unmolested. After that...all bets are off. :D)

* * *

Shego stared at Drakken. She blinked. "You want me to do _what_?"

Drakken brought a fist up to his face and cleared his throat. He was slightly nervous; it wasn't everyday you proposed for your sidekick with wicked, hot plasma to change genders.

_This would've been so much easier if Shego wasn't girly._ "Like I said, Shego, I want you to make Kim Possible fall in love with you…consider it a…retrial of that Eric synthodrone. But, to do that…well," he coughed, "you need to be a guy…" he trailed off, preparing for hell. But it never came. Shego just continued looking at him with a thousand yard stare. She moved a little bit, and Drakken flinched, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he saw Shego hunched over, laughing her ass off.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA, oh my God!" Shego slapped her knee hillbilly style as she continued to laugh. Drakken growled. He didn't like his plans being laughed at. "WELL EXCUSE ME Shego, but I think it's a brilliant pl—" Shego held up her hand while trying to regain control of herself. "Ahhh, it sounds interesting enough. Haven't had anything to do in awhile." Drakken gave her a look. "Fine. I haven't had anything _interesting_ to do in awhile." He gave her another look. Shego sighed, "Ugh, whatever. So are we doing this or not?" Shego had been getting bored recently. She had actually come into the control room to beat a three week vacation out of Drakken before he had thrown this at her.

Drakken squealed and exclaimed that he'd be right back. So Shego sat on the random lazy boy that was randomly located in the room. She pulled out her nail file that was in her trusty ankle pouch, crossed her legs, and began filing her claws, assuming _the _Shego look. _So Drakken wants Ms. Perfect to fall for lil' ol' me? Well, I believe I can make that happen. Oh! But she's with Stoppable…that's okay. I like a little competition. _She chuckled to herself. _This is going to be __**fun**__. _

Shego turned her attention away from filing and looked up at Drakken, who was walking into the room with a box cradled into his chest. "Okay, everything we need is in here." He staggered over to the table and plopped the box down. Shego got up from the comfortable lazy boy and walked silently over to Drakken. She peered over his shoulder and saw him fiddling with a ray gun. _This is going to take a while_, Shego thought as she started filing her nails again.

"Aha!" Drakken screamed. He turned his head, looking for his assistant. When he saw her, he turned his body to face her and pulled the trigger on the ray gun. Shego wasn't prepared for the blast and stumbled backward. She fell on her butt and yelped. "Ah!"

"Well did it work?" Drakken asked.

"I don't know, you tell me." A deep, sultry voice said. Drakken gaped in shock as a young, pale, lean man stood up, dressed in Shego's cat suit. _Well, Shego was a pretty girl…I guess it's only common sense she'd be a handsome man_.

Shego peeled the top half of the catsuit off, and felt her own torso. "Oooo, I've got a six pack!" Her hands went lower and lower until she reached the place where her pelvis dipped. Shego was about to grab her manhood when she remembered she wasn't alone. She looked up at Drakken, who was staring in awe. He didn't seem to realize she was about to play with herself. "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

* * *

Kim Possible was not a happy camper. No pun intended. It was about a week before Kim's senior year started, and her family wanted to visit the great outdoors before school. _Yeah, great my butt. _Kim would never swear, even in her own mind. Of course, her best friend/boyfriend wanted to come along, and the Possibles', of course, agreed. They had finished setting up camp about an hour ago, so they were getting ready to go down to the river, which was located about 2 miles from them.

Kim unzipped her tent and stepped out. She took a really deep breath in and let it out slowly. It was hotter than balls inside the tent, and she felt suffocated. Not that outside felt any better, but there was a slight breeze. Ron stepped out of his own tent, located right next to Kim's. "Oh hey KP, you wan—" he stopped mid-sentence at the bathing suit Kim was wearing. He eyed the blood red bikini and the parts it _didn't_ cover up. Kim blushed as she realized what he was staring at. Right at that moment, Jim and Tim decided to make their entrance.

"Take a picture," Tim said.

"it'll last longer." Jim finished.

* * *

"Sheeeeeeeegoooooooo! I don't know why you won't just use some of my clothes!" Drakken complained. They we're at the mall, buying some new clothes for Shego. She would _only_ dress in what was currently trendy, which now covered her body. A striped black and white t-shirt, black pants, and to finish off the look, a necklace with a charm that had a weird shape to it, all purchased from Forever 21. For shoes, well, Shego had happened to come across a pair of hiking boots that she fell in love with.

Drakken had created a skin patch that made Shego's pale complexion a light olive tone. She also got a haircut, so she had _stylish_ bed-head. The only thing still Shego on Shego was her piercing emerald green eyes that made girls' knees go rubbery if Shego looked directly in her eyes. And she had always thought it was piercing _blue_ eyes that made them go gaga…_Guess I was wrong,_ Shego thought.

Drakken was bored out of his mind. Couldn't she just have come by herself?

They went to the food court to eat. Shego chose a nifty little Chinese restaurant, while Drakken went to the soups and salads. They made their way to a table in a far corner.

"School starts in a week, Dr. D. Just so you know…"

"Yes, yes, I filled out all the paperwork," he huffed, "but I just need a name for you. Shego, I just realized I don't know your name."

"It's Shego."

"Your _real _name,"

"Look, we can use my nickname: Shay. It's unisex. But don't hope you're ever gonna know my real name." Shego growled out the last part.

Drakken gulped and sunk in his seat just a little. "W-what about your last name?" Shego popped an orange chicken in her mouth and chewed slowly, thinking.

"We can't use Go…Shay Go sounds too much like Shego…."

When they got back to the lair, they had already decided on a name. _Tyler Shayden Lowe. _Or 'Shay' for short.

* * *

_Beep Beep Be-Beep_

"Hey Wade, what's the sitch?" Kim whispered; she was scared to break the silence. It was one in the morning, and she'd been up since the humidity had been driving her insane.

"Hey Kim, you got a hit on the website. It's Adrena Lynn. She's remaking her show…but with unsuspecting people and lots of flammable material. She's about forty miles from your location."

"Oh, _God_, doesn't she ever learn?"

"Your ride will be there in about ten minutes."

"Thanks Wade."

"No problem, Kim."

The Kimmunicator's screen turned off and she changed into her mission clothes. Alright, now to wake up Ron…

She creeped out of her tent and over to Ron's. Opening his tent's zipper slightly, she half whispered, half yelled out Ron's name.

"Ron...Ron…Ron…_Ron…Ron…RON!" _

"AHhhnyagh…..wha?" He eyes flew open and he jolted upright.

"C'mon Ron, we got a mission to go to."

"Alright Kim, just gimme a sec here,"

She waited patiently outside for him. A helicopter flew by, and dropped something—two things—in the near distance before continuing on.

_Weird…_

When Ron finally came out of his tent, she grabbed his hand and dragged him to the place where she'd seen the two objects fall. The closer she got, the clearer she could see what was there. Her eyes finally laid eyes upon two sporty looking motorcycles and she _almost_ screamed in delight. _So Wade _did _hear me when I told him it would be cool if our transportation got upgraded. _

Ron groaned when he saw the two bikes. "Uhh, KP…I can't…I don't know how to ride a 'cycle…"

Kim giggled like a little school girl before answering, "Then hang on _tight,_" She threw a wink at him before sauntering her way to one of the black bikes.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Hi! Thanks for the reviews you guys :)

Anyways, I've been watching Katekyo Hitman Reborn, and holy balls that shit gets **GOOD.**

I don't get why people hate on Haru and Kyoko, it's Tsuna that pisses me off xD

Well anywho, here's chapter 2! Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: Don't own jack shit.

Bee Gee's- More Than A Woman is used just a tad.

* * *

"Shay" was nervous. It was the night before "his" first day of school.

Drakken had conveniently rented an apartment near Middleton High for him, just in case. He didn't know what Drakken meant by "just in case", but he didn't ponder on for it too long—he had other things to worry about. Like, _WHERE THE _FUCK _IS MY SCHEDULE? C'mon! I left it right here! _Shego was rifling through her nightstand drawer with a pout on her face. Which was actually rather cute on "Shay's" face.

_Oi, _screw _this. I'll get a copy tomorrow._ Shego yawned. _Bath time!_

She walked over to the bathroom, grabbing a towel on the way. With the water set at that beautiful temperature, _almost scalding hot, _Shego thought, she stepped in after stripping. She purred at the cascading water, but the sound that came out of her throat was deep and sounded almost like a growl.

She chuckled. It was going to take a while to get used to a deep voice.

* * *

Kim was excited! It was finally going to be her senior year! _Heck yeah! _She was in her room, twirling Pandaroo around.

She had her outfit for tomorrow, all her new school supplies in a backpack and hot damn, she was ready for school.

During dinner, Dr. Anne Possible was staring at her daughter. She just _wouldn't. Stay. STILL. _Anne swore epileptic patients having episodes weren't this bad. Add to the fact Kim seemed to be _glowing_.

_Oh, God, don't tell me she…_

"Kim, honey? Is there anything _new_ going on?" Anne quirked an eyebrow to show the double-meaning in her words. Kim didn't catch the eyebrow or the emphasis on 'new'.

"YES! School's starting tomorrow—I'm SOO excited! I'm finally gonna be a senior!"

_Oh thank you, Lord…_

"So you and Ron haven't done anything, yet?" Jim asked. Of course the smart twins would catch the innuendo.

Mr. Dr. Possible and Kim choked on their food, Anne had a look of horror on her face, and the twins were smirking.

"TWEEBS!" Kim screamed with a blush on her face.

"Hicka-bicka-boo?" Tim whimpered.

"Hoosha," Jim and Tim ran for it and Kim followed them, leaving a disheveled Anne and a coughing James at the dinner table.

* * *

_More than a woman_

_More than a woman to meee_

Shego threw a plama ball at the radio in her half conscious state.

"Oops…"

She sat up on her bed and stared at the melting radio.

"…And I actually kinda liked that song,"

She sighed and got up from bed. Shego realized what she had woken up for, and a sense of dread formed in her stomach. She remembered she didn't like high school.

_Why did I agree to this, again?_

_**It sounded like fun.**_

_Riight._

Pulling on a pair of blue jeans that had a few holes here and there and a black t-shirt, she walked to the bathroom and took care of her hygiene.

After Shego spit out water and toothpaste, she looked at herself in the mirror and ran a hand through her hair, combing it while calming her nervous.

_Alright Shay, you look good. Let's rock this bitch._

On her way out, she grabbed a leather jacket and looked at two sets of keys. She smirked and grabbed one.

Outside, she eyed her _**silver Volvo**_ (LOL JK) Ashton Martin.

* * *

"Well don't you look delicious today…"

Kim saw Monique on her way to her locker.

"Hey, gurl, what's your homeroom?" Monique asked, excited.

"Ahh, Room 402. I think."

Monique squealed and hugged Kim while exclaiming, "Me too! Let's go together!"

"Sure!" Kim smiled. It was nice to know someone in your homeroom.

"Hey KP!" a voice shouted down the hallway.

Kim craned her neck to see her boyfriend waving at her and Monique. They met him halfway and Kim gave him a peck on the cheek which gave Ron a goofy grin.

The bell rang and the three walked to homeroom. Ron happened to have the same class as Kim and Monique.

Mr. Barkin greeted them at the door.

"Possible. Stoppable. It's _so nice_ to have you under my wing again."

Kim and Ron simultaneously gulped and had the exact same thought: _I thought we were done with him!_

All three sat down and began small chit-chat, namely how their summers went. Monique had a shopping spree in France, Ron had spent time with Kim, and Kim had been saving the world one sitch at a time.

The bell rang again, signaling for class to start. Barkin marched to the front of the room, and started attendance.

"Clarke,"

"Here!"

"Cogen,"

"Here."

"Edinson,"

"Present!"

"Fence,"

"Mmm."

Barkin sighed. "Fence, it's 'present', 'here', or raising your hand."

"Mmm." Fence replied. Barkin sighed again. _May the Lord help this generation…_

Suddenly the door slammed open, making Kim along with everyone else jump. Sex on two legs walked into the classroom.

_Oh my God, I did _not _just think that,_ Kim thought, _I have a _boyfriend_ who I'm _very_ happy with!_

Kim took in the sex god's features. Black hair, tall, athletic, and those piercing green eyes…

_**Yum.**_

_Ugh! Shut up!_

_**Hey, he's hot and you know it.**_

…

_**Yeah, that's right.**_

_Whatever._

"Who're you?" Barkin asked, angry. _No_body was late to his class. _Nobody._

"Tyler Lowe; why?" Shego asked. _He better not give me—_

"DETENTION! No one is late to my class. _No one_."

"Oh c'mon! It's the first day of class!" she complained.

"That's two days! Wanna make it three?"

Shego rolled her eyes, but kept her mouth shut, and took a seat. Which happened to be right next to Kim's. When Shego noticed, she turned her head at Kim and smiled. Kim's heart rate went up several notches. Ron noticed the stud smiling at his girlfriend and got angry.

"Hey! Don't look at KP like that!"

"Ron—" Kim interjected.

"Why don't you mid your own business, Mr. Jellin' Boyfriend?"

"Jellin'?" Kim asked herself. That was a weird way to say jealous.

"I am _not _jealous! I just don't like you looking at K—"

"STOPPABLE! LOWE! POSSIBLE," Mr. Barkin yelled, "I WILL _NOT _HAVE RELATIONSHIP DISPUTES IN MY CLASSROOM! DETENTION TO ALL THREE OF YOU!"

Kim _tried _to defend herself. "But I didn't even—"

"POSSIBLE, THAT'S TWO DAYS!"

Kim's eye twitched. She thought senior year was fun!

"HEY! I ALREADY HAVE TWO DAYS!" Shego yelled back.

"NOW IT'S FOUR DAYS FOR YOU!"

"What the fu—"

"FIVE!"

_Oh c'mon! It's not even thirty minutes into the semester! _Shego thought.

Kim sighed. _Well this sucks._

Monique giggled. _This is gonna be an __**interesting**__ semester. _


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Hey y'all!

Here's Chapter 3 :)

After the radio incident, I thought it'd be cool to have random lyrics to random songs when Shego wakes up and falls asleep. So yeah.

And Kim starts to speak a bit of slang, :D

Disclaimer: Don't own jack-poop.

Songs used:

YMCA by The Village People

Billie Jean by Michael Jackson

Teenage Dream by Katy Perry

* * *

"KP, I'm so sorry,"

Kim sighed. Her boyfriend's apologies just wouldn't stop. And she had already told him it was fine. Things happen, you know? But she had said that right after homeroom. And it was now passing time before 4th period.

"Ron," she gave him an exacerbated smile, "it's fine. I already told you. I'm actually a little happy you got jealous. Pero ya! Now go have fun like the senior you are."

With that, she walked off, leaving Ron still thinking he had messed up.

_Darn it, Kim! If there's nothing wrong, why are you acting like that_, was Ron's sad thought.

* * *

_It's fun to stay at the_

_YMCA!_

"If _h_ is -5, _k_ is 3/2, and _a_ is -3, what is the vertex form of the equation," Ms. Dubal looked at her roster, "…Lowe?"

All heads looked around the room, trying to identify 'Lowe'. All heads, except one. And that head was in a particularly comfortable position with a drabble of drool coming out of its mouth.

"_Mr. Lowe._"

Shay half consciously replied, "Mm?"

"I will only tell you this once," Ms. Dubal's voice was a deathly calm, "do _**not**_ sleep in my class."

Shay bolted up like something thick got shoved up his ass, making the rest of the class laugh.

"Now, come up here and solve this problem since you're so smart as to sleep in Pre-College Algebra."

Shay quickly scanned the board, trying to see the lesson and question. _Ew, vertex form of a quadratic function. _"Too easy," He mumbled.

He stumbled up to the white board in front of the class, snatched the blue marker out of Ms. Dubal's thin fingers, and quickly jotted down the answer in small and squarey print: _y= -3(x+5) ²+3/2_

Ms. Dubal was impressed. Most students had forgotten this lesson by the time they were seniors. She praised Shay and continued on.

"Now the formula for reversing the process…"

_She says I am the one_

_But the kid is not my son _

* * *

The bell rang, signaling that the school day was over. Kim walked to her locker as slow as she could to make the time before she had to go to detention as long as possible.

She finally got to her locker and opened it to find Wade waiting for her.

"Hey Kim, how was the first day?"

Kim only grunted, making the boy genius laugh. "I thought you were really excited about senior year."

"I was, pero que hueva, I got detention for today and tomorrow."

Wade quirked an eyebrow. "'Pero que hueva'?"

Kim gasped and turned a nice of scarlet. "I said that?"

"Um, yeah. You did. Isn't that Spanish?"

The young heroine couldn't believe that slipped out. There was this girl in all her classes, Vira if her memory served her. She spoke in bouts of slangy Tex-Mex, so Kim knew she was from south Texas. Kim had picked some of it up.

"Ah, this girl in my classes—she speaks Spanish sometimes. I guess I picked it up…?" Kim's offered answer sounded like a question more than a response, but Wade accepted it nonetheless.

"Well, anyways, you got detention?" Wade sounded amazed. _Too amazed_, Kim thought.

"Mm. Don't ask. Please." Wade nodded, completely understanding.

"How's news in the villain world?"

"Well, everything looks quiet for now…"

"Spankin'! Well, I gotta go, if I don't hurry I'm not gonna make it on time to detention."

The ten year old gave Kim a nod of his head and the screen went black. She let out an exacerbated sigh and started to jog to hell, _I mean detention_, Kim corrected, and wasn't looking when she bumped into something tall, delicious and very annoyed.

"Watch where you're going bi—" Shay noticed who had bumped into him, "—oh hello there, Possible." He finished in a not too pleasant voice.

"Um, I'm like, really sorry, um, what was your name again?" Kim tried to apologize, but the boy was making it really difficult by sneering at her. And awkward. _Really awkward…_

Shay, or Shego rather, was sneering at Kim on mere instinct, developing the habit from fighting with her so much. Remembering her objective, _making Possible fall for me_, she reminded herself, her expression softened immensely. "Sorry, my first day's been rather crappy."

Kim nodded, totally understanding. _Now I know how Wade feels when I talk to him…_

"Yeah, hasn't been that great for me either." Shay smiled at Kim in acknowledgement, and Kim unconsciously smiled back; Shay's smile was contagious.

The silence that followed wasn't necessarily awkward, but it was a tad uncomfortable. "Your name,"

Shay laughed, a jolly and warm sound, "It's Tyler. But a beautiful maiden such as yourself may call me Shay." It was Kim's turn to laugh; Shay frowned. Did he do something wrong?

"T-that was s-s-so ch-cheeeesy!" Kim managed to explain between laughter.

"Hey, I'm flirting with you and you laugh at me? Totally uncool." Shay replied, sounding mock-hurt. Kim giggled.

"So where ya headed to, Princess?"

"Princess?" _Only Shego calls me that…_

_Aw, horse shit. Did I say that?_

"It, ah, it suits you," Shego tried to cover up, "cause you're pretty and, uh, proper? Yeah, cause you're prim and proper and pretty, just like a princess!"

"Uh huh, anyways, don't cal—CHING—detention! I, um, gotta go, uh, Shay, so it was nice talking to you!" Kim ran off leaving Shay staring after her. He chuckled. _Seems like Miss Priss forgot about me being in detention…_

"HEY POSSIBLE, WAIT UP!"

* * *

Ron was sitting down in the far left corner of the room where detention was held. He started fiddling with his thumbs, wondering where his girlfriend was.

The door suddenly slammed open, revealing the stud that had hit on his girlfriend earlier and his girlfriend right behind him.

"Do you have to open the door like that?" Kim whisper-shouted. She didn't know the rules of detention, so she didn't want to do anything inappropriate.

"Yes, I do, Princess, now why are we whispering?" Shay replied at the same voice level as Kim.

"Hey don't call m—"

"HEY KP!" Ron called her over by slamming his palm on the desk next to him repeatedly.

Shay scoffed to himself, but Kim overheard. "What?"

"Nothing, Possible. Now go sit with lover-boy over there." Shay's words stung and Kim visibly winced. But if he could be rude then she'd try it too.

"Aww, is someone "jellin'"?"

"Shut it, Princess. I am _not _jealous of _that._" He looked at Ron.

"Hey I told you not to call me th—"

"KP! Hello? I'm over _here_!" Kim looked over to him and put her index finger and thumb close together to show she'd be there right now.

Shay took a seat right next to the door, and propped his legs up, and took out an iPod.

"Now if you don't mind Possible, I'm going to listen to music _right here_, so don't even _think_ about inviting me over to sit with you and that thing you call a boyfriend."

"Fine. Whatever. Uck-fay you then."

"Upyay your's."

When Kim finally left to the other side of the room, Shego smirked. _Never thought I'd see the day Kimmie started cussing…It's sexy. _She giggled.

Kim also started smirking when she left Shay. _So he _is _jealous…it's sexy._

Ron saw Kim smiling and took it that she was happy to see him. Oh, how they loved each other!

Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket, and thought to himself, _boy not good! _

_Let's go all the way tonight_

_No regrets_

_Just love _

* * *

Slang translations:

_Pero: _But

_Ya: _Enough

_Que Hueva _is kinda hard to translate. The closest thing to what it means in English is "How crappy" or "that/this sucks"

_Ching_: is short for chingao, which means something like "holy shit!"

But again this is slang, so it's not proper Spanish and it's like really crude. So yeah xD

And Kim's really OOC, i know, but it's more fun that way :D


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Hi y'all! :D

Sorry it took so long to update, my internet got disconnected :(

Again, thank you for the reviews :) Now I know why people love them so much xD

This chapter's actually pretty banal, in my opinion. I'm a go-as-you-write writer, so sorry for any inconsistencies.

Well, enjoy.

Disclaimer: Don't own poop.

Songs used:

I Want You by The Beatles

Bad Romance by Lady Gaga

* * *

_Beep Beep Be-Beep_

_I can't answer it…I have __**so **__much homework…_

_Beep Beep Be-Beep_

_But someone needs my help…_

Kim's heroic side won over her rational side, and she picked it up, secretly happy to get away. Maybe Ms. Prod would find saving the world a reasonable excuse for not turning in her work on time. _One could only hope._

"Go Wade!"

"It's Drakken. He was last seen with Jack Hench, the CEO of HenchCo. He just negotiated a price with him on a new death ray."

"So a search and destroy?"

"Exactly."

"Ride?"

"Outside."

"Ron?"

"In the ride."

"Thanks Wade!"

Wade smiled. "No problem, Kim."

* * *

"You did _what_?" Shego shouted into her cellphone.

"Shego, no need to get lippy! It was getting pretty boring, you know?" Drakken wasn't the kind to sit around and do nothing while his plan took effect. He liked _some _kind of involvement.

"Well then go rob a bank, not purchase a death ray! Jesus, you do know that Possible's probably hiding in some dark corner of the room you're in, listening to this conversation, right?"

"Uh, well, no, not exactly."

A sigh was heard from the other end of the line. _If stupidity doesn't eventually kill him, I will. _

"Look, I'm gonna hang up. I don't want Kimmie's nerdlinger to try anything weird, like hear in on our conversation." _Click. _

"SHEEEEEEEEEEEGOOOOOOOOOOOOO! What am I gonna do about that teenaged brat without you?"

"You mean this teenaged brat?" Kim's voice sounded from above.

Drakken gasped. "KIM POSSIBLE!"

Kim dropped down from the roof and landed right in front of Drakken. Ron _was _going to drop down along with her, but his pants got mysteriously caught on a piece of metal that was out of place. A ripping sound was heard and suddenly his face was crushed—against Drakken's.

Ron backed away immediately like Drakken was on fire and almost threw up. "Oh, God, oh, god, oh god, oh, god. "

Kim didn't hear Ron because she was too busy trying not to crack up. And then she stopped when she realized she was going to have to kiss him later to make him feel better. _Oh God._

Drakken wasn't nearly as hysterical as Ron, but he was pretty upset. "Eww, why did you kiss me you buffoon? And put on some pants!"

"I d-didn't kiss you! Ugh, this is just sick and wrong!"

"More like wrongsick." Kim interjected.

Kim noticed that there weren't any witty remarks or sarcastic comments and took a moment to ponder on it.

"Drakken, where's Shego?" She asked, looking around, expecting Shego to pop out of nowhere and catch her by surprise.

"Ha, wouldn't you like to know? She's gone…a business call, if you may." He cackled as if it was an inside joke, which it was, but the teenagers didn't know that.

Kim pulled out her kimmunicator and tapped a button, prompting Wade to come on screen.

"What's up, Kim?" Wade asked after taking a sip of his soda.

"Can you find Shego for me? She's not here. Drakken said she's gone on a "business call", but he laughed like a _pendejo _and it's making me suspicious."

"Sure. I'll call you if I find anything." Kim nodded.

She pocketed the kimmunicator and found that Ron and Drakken were arguing, making the "incident" worse.

"Look, when I fell onto your face, I swear I could feel you pucker up!" Ron shouted.

"Yeah, cause I was gonna scream!" Drakken retorted.

"GUYS! _Calmala_ and shut up. Where's the death ray Drakken? I have homework to do." Kim interrupted the argument. She was getting cranky since Shego wasn't there. She let her release all the pent up frustration she got from being a Mary Sue. The boys were giving her a headache.

"But _Kim_, I didn't mean to land on his face!"

She shot Ron a glare, and if looks could kill—well, Ron _and_ Drakken would be on the floor from the intensity. Ron gulped, and scampered over to her, afraid that if he did or said anything else, there would be hell to pay.

* * *

Shego was cracking up at the computer screen she had earlier set up in her room. She had hacked into the security camera feed to Drakken's lair and saw the whole fiasco.

She saw that Kim was visibly angry and was actually surprised. _She's never angry after she leaves…unless…_Shego smirked. She totally understood what Kim was going through, _I have a dumbass for a boss and a lame job,_ she thought, she decided that the best time to press Kim's buttons was going to be tomorrow morning. She would be cranky because she's frustrated _and _because she had to wake up early—_Imagine if she was PMSing? _Shego started cracking up again.

She looked back at the screen and stared at Kim's figure on the monitor. _Mmm…the idea of Kimmie being mad…hawt._

There was more screaming and smacking sounds coming from the speakers until Shego got bored. She exited out of the feed and headed for bed. _I'll shower in the morning, _she thought while yawning.

Curling up in his bed, Shay thought about Kim some more. He thought about her olive color eyes, the shape of her lips, the red hair, those lean muscles, that taut stomach, those legs that never end…

_Oh God, now I'm gonna have wet dreams about Possible. Doy._

He shrugged and told himself that he'd worry about it tomorrow.

_I want yoou_

_I want you so bad_

_It is driving me maad _

* * *

_I want your ugly_

_I want your disease_

_I want your everything as long as it's free_

_I want your love_

"Mmm, Kimmie…" Shego moaned. Her eyes snapped open as soon as she had realized what she said. She sat up on her bed and noticed a very visible tent between her legs.

"Wow, my first morning wood!" She deadpanned. She rolled her eyes and hopped out of bed with her erection protruding through her pajama shorts. _Ugh, how do I get rid of this thing?_

She thought about all the guy friends she's had in the past who always ended up talking about erections.

-Flashback-

"_HAHA, I just remembered this one time I got a boner in class. The teacher noticed I was getting edgy and called me to her desk 'cause she thought I was on speed." Frank, Shego's old buddy, had said._

_Shego laughed and asked, "Hey Frankie, what's a boner feel like?"_

"_Why'd ya ask that, Shay? Growing a dick anytime soon?"_

"_No, shut up! I'm just curious."_

"_Well, I don't know, I've never really thought about it. I guess you just feel your dick, uh, erecting, and it kinda feels good." Frank scratched the back of his head._

"_So if you, like, get morning wood, how do you get it to go down?" _

"_Me? Well, I just take a piss."_

-End Flashback-

"Just take a piss, huh? Well, why not? I need practice with this thing anyways," she commented, looking down at her penis.

* * *

Translations:

_Pendejo: _dumbass

_Calmala: _calm down


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **haai you guiizz

This chapter was brought to you by the idea "LET'S MAKE SHAY AND KIM SWITCH BODIES OMG" and lots and lots of Beautiful Dr. Pepper

My science fair project is due on Wed. and I still don't have a topic :D

Anyway, again, sorry for any inconsistencies and the super OOC

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except Vira if anyone remembers her xD

Songs used:

Beautiful, Dirty, Rich by Lady Gaga

Frozen Creek by Circa Survive

* * *

Just as Shego had predicted, Kim was really ticked off this morning. Shay bumped into her, causing her to drop everything that was in her arms.

"Okay, what the hell, really." She looked up to see green eyes and a smirk. She gritted her teeth and shoved Shay, making him laugh.

"Tyler, I'm really not in the mood."

"Aww, c'mon Princess, lighten up! And I told you to call me Shay."

"And I told _you_ to _not_ call me Prin-"

"Hey Kim." A valley girl accent came from behind her. _Oh Jesus, don't tell me it's Bonnie._

"Hey! Possible! I'm talking to you!" Bonnie tapped her foot impatiently 'til she saw a boy,_ no— a man_, she mentally corrected herself, switching gazes at Kim and her with an amused expression. Piercing green eyes met her own teal ones, and she almost forgot how to breathe. Almost.

Kim finally turned around and replied to Bonnie's greeting with an awkward one of her own. Bonnie sauntered over to Shay, who was looking at her with a now curious expression. Suddenly, realization hit him and he smirked. He leaned against the wall, looking very casual. Kim didn't know what was going on, but she introduced him since Bonnie was staring.

"Uh, Bonnie, this is, er, Tyler. Tyler, Bonnie."

"Hey," Shay said in an extra husky voice. _Wow, flirting is fun when it works_, Shego thought as she noticed the girl exhale excitedly and Kim's blush.

"Well, Tyler, I'll see you around," Bonnie gave Shay another once over and a nod of approval before leaving. Shay started cracking up; Kim stared at him.

"I'm sorry, that was just too much fun," he finally said after he calmed down.

"What was?"

"Just her."

"Why?"

"Cause she wants me. All the girls want me," He waggled his eyebrows.

"Whatever!" Kim started laughing.

Shay clicked his tongue. "You know you want this!" He struck a model pose with one hand behind his head, his other hand on his hip, and his hip cocked to the side.

Kim laughed harder.

* * *

Ron walked into homeroom and found Mr. Stud talking to Kim. _Doesn't he ever learn?_

But Kim seemed to be enjoying his company, so Ron let it slide. He took a seat next to her, but Kim didn't notice since her back was to him. He cleared his throat loud enough to get her attention and she turned around, thoroughly surprised to find him there.

"Oh, hi Ron!" she smiled. Ron smiled back and looked over her shoulder at Mr. Stud who was glaring daggers at him. "Who's that?"

"I'm Tyler," Was Shego's simple reply.

"Well, I'm Ron. Ron Stoppable. KP's best friend/boyfriend." he reminded Shay who he was.

"Not for long~" Shay sang under his breath. Kim turned her attention to Ron and Shay decided it was time to break out his iPod.

_Bang Bang_

_We're beautiful and dirty rich_

"So KP, who exactly is that?"

"Well, I actually bumped into him yesterday; he started talking to me, and he's really funny,"

"Hey, I'm funny too!"

"Riiight. Anyway, his eyes...I swear I've seen them somewhere before!"

"His eyes?"

"Yes! That green," Kim scratched her chin in thought. The bell rang and Mr. Barkin walked in.

"Alright class, today we're going to b—" _Beep Beep Be-Beep_

"Possible,"

"Sorry Mr. Barkin!" She grabbed Ron's hand and ran of the classroom.

_On top the frozen creek_

_I would love to take you there_

Shay stirred and turned to Kim, but there was only an empty seat. _Hey, the buffoon's gone too..._

"Oi! Where's Possible?" He demanded of Mr. Barkin. Barkin sighed. He mumbled something, but Shay only caught "saving the world" and "never in class", which was more than enough info.

Shay promptly stood up and walked out of the classroom with a smirk on his face and Barkin yelling after him.

* * *

"Alright Wade, one more time, what are we doing climbing a twenty thousand foot mountain of death?" Kim gritted through her teeth.

"You're not climbing all twenty thousand; Monkey Fist's lair is about five hundred feet above you. There's some kind of device that opens the main entrance."

"Security?"

"Well, none that I've found. It looks clean."

"Thanks Wade, I'll call you when were five hundred feet up."

"Alright Kim."

Ron, who was right behind, or rather, below Kim, had a nice view of her backside. _Ugh, this isn't the time..._

"Hey KP, how ya hanging?" Ron chided. He tried to look everywhere except at Kim's backside but failed miserably. Kim looked down at Ron and saw him looking at her with a hungry expression. She lost her grip on a rock and fell, but Ron caught her wrist just before she started falling. He looked sheepishly at Kim, who was on the verge of panicking. "Sorry, KP, being a guy and all..."

"Ron! _So_ not the time!"

"Right," He was about to pull her up but his cord started ripping.

"Uh, Kim, we have a problem," he pointed at the cord. Kim's eyes widened. _Crap, crap, crap...think Kim, think! _She pulled out the kimmunicator and called Wade. Wade answered to find Kim nearly hysterical.

"Hey, Kim. There yet?" he asked cautiously.

"Wade! We're about to fall, Ron's holding me and the his cord isn't holding him."

"Wh—"

The cord completely ripped. Kim and Ron started falling. _Great idea Kim, 'let's not take the parachutes today', _she mimcked herself in a high pitched voice, _chingao._

Suddenly, two ninja monkeys with jet packs caught them and flew upwards and into Monkey Fist's lair. He was standing there at the entrance with a smile on his face, not the friendly kind mind you.

"Well, well, well, Kim Possible. You know I'm the only one who gets to kill you, no?"

Kim and Ron struggled against the ninja monkeys' strong grip. "Oh put a sock in it, Monty."

"Well, that's beside the point, you're here, alive and kicking. You actually just interrupted my newest scheme to free the monkeys trapped in zoos, and such."

He pointed at what looked like two helmets, a regular old monkey, and a remote control he had in his hand. Ron's head cocked to the side in confusion, while Kim had remembered this set-up. _Not again..._

"But since I haven't tested it out, and you two are here, perhaps you can be my test subjects."

"_Citate, pinche chango," _Kim hissed out. The monkeys looked at each other, seeing if anyone knew what she said.

Monkey Fist put the helmets on the duo, and started cackling. Ron still didn't know what was going on, but Kim became apathetic. _Whatever, this isn't anything new. _He saw her "calm" state, and decided that it wasn't anything serious.

Monkey was going to start a monologue, but a sudden explosion made him jump, making him press the big red button on the remote. Kim saw a blur of a person before her world went black.

* * *

Kim opened her eyes, seeing what looked like Ron's back.

"Ron..." she said weakly. Adrenaline spiked through her when the sound that came out was deep.

She sat up quickly, and got the shock of her life when she saw her own body, still unconscious, on the floor.

"W-w-what?"

Ron turned around and looked at her. "Oh hey, you're up! I still don't like you and stuff, but Kim's," he looked over at Kim's body, "yeah."

Kim felt her torso and didn't feel boobs but tight pecks. "Oh God."

Ron looked at her questioningly. "Ron, who am I?"

"Uh, what'syourface... Tyler? I think. That guy that's always hitting on Kim. You actually surprised me with that blast. But thanks for saving us. Well, you didn't really _save us_ save us, but when Monkey Fist saw you, he ran for it. So yeah, thanks." He smiled at her.

Kim fainted.

* * *

Translations:

_chingao: _(in this case) shit

_Citate, pinche chango: _Get away, fucking monkey


	6. Chapter 6

Songs Used:

Here In My Room by Incubus

* * *

_I wouldn't change a thing now that you're here_

_Yeah, love is a verb here in my room_

Shego woke up to see Ron's face inches above her's. She groaned in protest as she sat up, "Ew, don't get so close to me," She shoved his face away.

"Kim?"

"No, She- _shit -,_uh, Tyler." _Jesus Shego, pull yourself together!_

"Tyler? But Tyler's over there," Ron pointed at an unconscious Shay. "are you sure you're alright, KP?"

She felt her face and gasped when there wasn't any stubble. She felt along her jawline, noticing it wasn't as prominent. She finally grabbed some soft, long hair and pulled it to her face. Red. She was Kim Possible. _Oh. my. God. Why didn't I notice her voice? _Shego decided not to say anything about it, knowing that Ron would throw a bitch-fit about it. "Buf-er-Ron, have you called for help?"

"Yeah, I called Wade about five minutes ago. Said a ride would be here in ten."

"Go check that out. I'll check on Tyler here." Ron nodded and ran out.

Shego quickly crawled over to her male body and shook it. Assuming it was Kim, she whispered, "Possible! Possible! Wake up!" Kim moaned in response, a deep "Sheeegooo,"

Her heart skipped a beat. _Possible's dreaming about me?_

"_estupida, ven paraca." _Kim's voice faded out. Shego clicked her tongue. _That didn't sound very nice..._

"Possible!"

Kim's eyes flew open. She saw her own face hovering over her and almost screamed, but thankfully Shego covered her mouth with her hand. "Shh, it's me Princess."

"Shego?" Shego nearly toppled over in surprise. Kim didn't notice in her sleepy haze.

"Uh, Shego? Who's that? It's Shay. Now, we have a little dilemma here. I'm in you and you're in me. The machine that did this is destroyed. Your boyfrand doesn't know either."

"Boyfrand? Don't you mean _boyfriend_?"

"Not really. And I don't think we should let him know either; we don't want him going apeshit over this," She rolled her eyes. Kim nodded. She's seen Ron react to things like this, and 'react' wasn't really the word to use. Shego sighed in relief and went right back to her old self. She smirked at Kim while she was standing up. "Looking good there, _Shay_." Kim looked at her funny.

* * *

Kim was pacing in her room, trying to calm her thoughts. She explained everything to her mom and dad, who simply nodded in understanding before going about their usual routine. She had figured out earlier that giving your body to a male was a bad idea, well, cause, boys are boys. But for some reason, she trusted Shay enough to take care of her body. _Weird._ But anyways, that stuff wasn't important right now, because she really _really _needed to go. To the bathroom. Like now. Kim had sat down when she was in Ron's body, so that took care of that. But it just felt _wrong _to sit down. And Kim Possible, crime-fighting teenage hero, did _not _like to do things _wrong. _So she held in it as best as she could, trying to visualize a male going to the bathroom. _Ewwww, this is _so _not helping,_

She gave up trying by herself and went to find her mom, who she found was at the hospital. _Crap. _

Kim beeped her. Anne answered on the fourth ring, "Hello?"

"Mom! I, uh, need your, uh, help."

"Well, make it quick sweetie, I'm in the middle of operating. Jesus, some people think their skull is made of steel," she and her operating team chuckled.

"Er, this is a little awkward, h-how do I, um, p-p-penis? I mean, how do I p-pee with a penis?"

Anne laughed after a beat. "Well, you hold it and aim."

"Well, duh. But like, I don't know, a little more detail? Please?"

"Okay then. Grab your penis. Aim. Shoot. It can't really get any simpler."

"Well, alright. I'll, uh, try," Kim smiled into the phone, "thanks Mom."

"You're welcome," _Click._

A guy from the operating team asked, "Who's that?"

Anne smiled while draining blood, "Just my daughter."

The operating team didn't say anything.

Kim slowly unzipped her pants. She was scared. She was going to do this _for real. _Reaching into her boxers, she slowly took out her penis. Kim's eyes bulged. _Oh, wow, this is a lot bigger than Ron's...jeez...and it looks like an anteater. WTF? _

* * *

Shego was having a dandy ol' time. _I am Kim Possible. Kim Possible is me. Who are you? I'm Kim Possible. Who am I? You're Kim Possible, bitch. _

"_So _not the drama," Shego tried. She giggled. "Spankin'!" More giggling. _Kimmie also speaks Spanish..._

"Coh-moe-esss-tah?" _Ew, Spanish isn't my language. "_Muuii-bee-en, Grah-see-as." _Gross. Just stop Shego._

"_Quien hablas con, mensa?" _A deep, husky voice sounded right next to her ear, making her shiver.

"K-Kim?" she choked out. She turned slowly until black hair, green eyes, and a smirk came into view.

"Trying out my lingo, I see."

Shego chuckled nervously, which sounded like a bunch of coughs strung together. She was at the mall to buy Kim's body some new clothes since all her casual clothes fit Kim kinda loose in the wrong places. _Kimmie needs to drink more milk..._ There was nothing that accommodated Shego's taste in fashion and Kim's body, so she gave up. She walked around instead, enjoying the feel of Kim's body. That is, until Kim actually showed up.

"Well, uh, _Possible," _Kim tried, "would you mind me accompanying you for the rest of the evening?"

"Of course I wouldn't, Shay!" Shego said in a sugary sweet voice, the kind of sugary sweet that gave you a toothache.

Shego linked arms with Kim and they walked around the mall talking about everything and nothing, laughing, agreeing, arguing, exchanging verbal insults, you know, _everything. _

"So what're you doing here, Kim?" Shego asked.

"I was going to buy some new clothes for your body since I'm not really into male clothing and my dad's clothes don't exactly fit," she said, pointing at the oversized flannel shirt and really baggy jeans she was wearing.

"Awesome." Kim remembered something.

"Oh, Shay, this is a little awkward," she leaned into Shego ear, "but why does your penis look like an anteater?"

Shego stared at Kim. And then she started laughing. Cracking up, actually. "Oh god Princess, are you really that uneducated in _that _area?"

"Hey, don't call me Princess! And what do you mean 'that'? Kim looked flustered, a weird look on Shay's face.

"Woah, woah, woah, I'll call you Princess if I want, _Princess_, and sexual education." Shego quirked an eyebrow at Kim's blush when she said 'sexual' and smirked. She closed the space between their bodies, wrapped her arms around Kim's neck, and whispered slow and hot into her ear, "Does that blush mean I have to _teach _you, Kimmie?"

Kim shivered from the hot breath and felt a tug in her jeans. Her eyes widened, _Oh man, don't tell me I got a...a...a boner! From him! _She shoved her own body away. "Stop it."

Shego shrugged, "Alright Possible, but the offer's always on the table."

"Whatever. And you never answered my question." The oversized shirt and baggy jeans covered up her erection pretty well, much to her relief.

"I'm not circumcised."

"Oh." Kim sounded like she was going to say more.

"Why, does your boyfrand's penis look different?"

"N-no!" She quickly replied. Shego laughed again, thanking whatever god's up there that Kim didn't notice her nickname slip-up.

* * *

**Translations and other cheese**

_estupidia, ven paraca: _stupid, come here

Shego's trying to say '_Como esta?' _and '_Muy bein, gracias.' _How are you?' and 'Very good, thank you.' respectively.

_Quien hablas con, mensa?: _Who are you talking to, crazy?

**MY SPANISH SUCKS, DON'T TAKE ANY OF THESE TO HEART**

But anyways, how are you all doing? :)


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **I didn't really fix up this chapter, so sorry for any grammar mistakes and stuff.

Standard Disclaimer

Songs Used:

LoveGame by Lady Gaga

* * *

Drakken shook his head in frustration. His sidekick was telling him that she had accidentally switched bodies with his arch-nemesis. "What do you mean "accidentally", Shego?" He had a hard time talking to Shego, who was in Kim's body.

"Look, I was in class. Possible went on a mission. I was bored. I followed them. Saw that they were in trouble. I was going to save both of them, but only pushed the buffoon away in time, and the helmet somehow managed to get on my head when the machine did its thing. The End."

"Argh. That Monkey Fist. Getting into other people's idea's."

"Well, it technically wasn't your idea; you stole it, remember?"

"Outsourcing, Shego. Outsourcing!" Shego rolled her eyes.

"Okay, whatever. This is fixable, right?"

"Well, if I could make a new brain-switchie machine and calibrate it..." he trailed off.

"Alright, well, I'll leave you to that." She left the lair, thinking about what she was going to do next. She was Kim Possible. What _wasn't _she going to do next? She smiled at this thought as she stepped outside, the sunset's orange glow hitting her, vaguely warming her. _Beep-Beep-Be-Beep_

Shego groaned as she pulled it out of her pocket. Kim had given it to her and kept another one, telling her that Ron sometimes beeped her. Hesitantly, Shego tapped the button that would take the call. _Speak of the buffoon- _Ron's face appeared. He was smiling, making her want to punch him. "Hey Kim!"

"H-hi, Ron." she choked out. She gave him the best smile she could muster, which looked like a grimace. He frowned. "Anything wrong, KP? You look sorta constipated." That comment made the not-smile disappear, leaving Shego's face emotionless. "What do you want?" she demanded.

"Er, well, it's Friday night. Ya know, Naco Night?" _Oh my God Princess, how do you deal with this?_

"O-oh, right! It, uh, slipped my mind! But listen, Buffo- RON," she quickly corrected, "I got a, um, project for English. And you know me, I need to get right on that!"

"Oh, okay. Then it'll be a man's night out, huh Rufus?" He said, looking down in his pocket. Rufus climbed up to his shoulder and gave an affirmative, "Uh-huh!" Ron looked back to the phone. "Then I'll call you later Kim!" The screen went black, much to Shego's relief. _Beep-Beep-Be-Beep _She almost threw the device to the floor. She mashed the button. "What's the sitch?" She gritted through her teeth.

Shay's face appeared on the screen this time. "Oh hi, Kim." Shego exhaled. Kim smiled. "Hi Shay! Listen, uh, your p-penis looking like an anteater is _really _bothering me." Shego threw the arm that wasn't holding the kimmunicator up in the air. "Your mom's a doctor! Get circumcised! Chop off my penis while your at it!" Kim winced.

"Alright, jeez, you don't have to be a skank about it!"

"I'll be a skank if I want!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!" Kim hung up. _Stupid Shay, stupid brain-switch, STUPID PENIS! _She smacked her crotch in anger and instantly regretted it when she fell over in pain. "_CHING-a tu madre!" _She screamed. The scream echoed throughout the house and her mother barged into her room, worried. Seeing her daughter on the floor moaning in pain made her gasp. "Kimmie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just, a little anger issue." Anne quirked an eyebrow.

"Mom, I know this is really sudden, but can you give me a circumcision?" Anne's other eyebrow shot up. "Shay's penis looks like an anteater and it bothers me like no tomorrow."

"Sure." Anne replied after a really long pause.

* * *

_Let's have some fun this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

A drabble of drool fell out of Shego's mouth as she woke up. _Hrm, what time is it? _She checked the clock and found it was 11:48 a.m. Saturday, October 1st. She stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom for a shower. She stripped her clothes and looked in the mirror, appreciating Kim's body. She tried different poses until the water was just at the right temperature. _Jesus, Kimmie can kill men with this body..._

After her shower, she pulled on a green v-neck and dark blue jeans. _What am I going to do today? I suppose I can call Kimmie. _She whipped out the kimmunicator and called Kim's.

Kim's face appeared, slightly frowning. "What?" she demanded.

"What's with the attitude, Princess? I thought you were always happy to see me!" Shego mock-pouted. Kim rolled her eyes and removed the almost-frown. "Alright, Shay, what do you want?"

"I wanted to hang out!"

Kim blinked a few times. And then she smiled. "Okay, when and where do you want to meet?"

Shego looked at her wrist, pretending there was a watch there. "Three o' clock, ma'am?" She said in a crappy British accent, making Kim giggle. "Sure. Where?"

"I'll pick you up."

"Mkay, well I'll see you at three,"

"Ciao!"

"Bye."

Kim didn't know why she was all giddy inside. _It's not like I'm falling for the guy, _she thought, when her kimmunicator beeped. "What's the sitch?" Wade appeared, buffing his nails. "Guess who just created a way to switch you and Shay back?" Kim gasped.

"Oh my God Wade, can I marry you?" He laughed.

"It's a ray gun that should return you back to your original states. I mailed it to your house, it should be getting there right about-" The doorbell rang. "Nice timing." Kim said.

"I do what I can." The screen went black. She threw the kimmunicator on her bed and went downstairs to answer the door. An old man in a UPS uniform was there. "'Cuse me, is there a Ms. Kim Possible here?"

"I am she." Kim replied. The old man looked at her funny. He shook his head and handed her the package. "I'm gonna need yer signature," he said, pulling out a scanner with a gigantic touch screen.

* * *

_Beep-Beep-Be-Beep_

Shego answered, "Wha-"

"SHAY!" Kim hollered from the other end.

"Oh, hi Princess," she smirked, "I see you just couldn't stay away from me."

"Oh, shut up. Wade made a ray gun that'll switch our bodies back!" Kim was bouncing up and down like a kid who just got told he'd have free ice cream for a year. It would've been cute, if it wasn't Shay's body.

"Calm down there Possible, we don't need you bouncing off walls."

"Okay, okay, but you have to come over now! I want my body back!"

"Alrighty then, I'll be over in a few."

"Yay!" Shego ended the call. _Damn, I didn't get to do anything fun in Kim's body, _she thought, _wait. Why didn't I take a chance to weaken Kimmie's relationship with the buffoon? _She smacked herself, "Bad Shego, bad! Why did it take this long to do?" She beeped Ron, who she had woken up. "H-hello?"

"Hi Ron!" Shego said in that sugary-sweet voice.

"Um, hi?" She noticed the sleepiness in his voice.

"What'cha doing sleeping in so late, darling?"

"Darling? Kim, are you okay?"

"What are you talking about, silly willy? I just wanted to see how my bestest boyfriend is doing!"

Ron squinted at the phone. "Who are you and what have you done with Kim?"

Shego had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "What on earth are you talking about? I'm Kimberly Anne Possible," she said Kim's name slowly, like she was reading it for the first time, "and you're Ron Stoppable and we're going out. Aren't we?"

"Wha? Yeah, me and Kim are going out, but who are you? What do you want?"

"Your girlfriend. And your soul, if you wouldn't mind." She hung up and allowed herself to release the laugh she was holding in.

* * *

_Click. _Ron froze with horror. "Rufus! I don't know what happened to Kim! I think someone possessed her," he quickly got dressed, "but he wants her, and I'm not letting that happen!" Rufus stared at his master, shocked by the fact that Kim might be possessed. Ron picked him up and put him in his pocket.

"Jesus, Kim, I hope you're alright," he said to himself, as he headed for Kim's house.

* * *

**Translations:**

_Chinga tu madre!_ : Fuck your mother!

* * *

My first attempt at an omake thingy xD

**OMAKE THING**

**[The curtain opens to Kim and Shego sitting at a computer, looking on F F . net]**

Shego: Oh! Click that Princess! The one that says 'cartoons'!

Kim: Okay, _-click-_ woah, they have a lot of cartoons.

Shego: I always thought The Last Airbender was an anime.

Kim: It's a cartoon! Just like us!

Shego: OH! We are cartoons, aren't we? _-takes mouse away from Kim-_

Kim: Hey! And yeah, what's your poi- oooh, that _would _be interesting.

Shego: _-laughs-_ Look Kimmie, your name's here!

Kim: _-starts laughing too-_ Click it!

Shego: _-click-_ Holy balls, they have a lot of stories.

Kim: Yeah...and they're all about me and Ron...how dull..._-starts cracking up-_ Oh, my, GOD, there's one of you and Drakken! HAHAHHA

Shego: WTF? _-click-_

Kim: _-after reading a few sentences-_ OH MY GOD! Make it stop Shego! It's a lemon!

Shego: _-click-_ Jesus, now I can never look at Drakken the same way.

Kim: You should kick his ass for touching you _there_.

Shego: Jealous?

Kim: N-no! Not at all!

Shego: Oh, hey, there's one of you and me!

Kim: We're probably just going to be kicking each other's ass.

Shego: _-click-_

**[Half-an-hour later]**

Kim: That was interesting.

Shego: Yes, because me and you having kids is interesting.

Kim: Hey! They sounded cute!

Shego: What were their names? Kasandra and Shit-ki?

Kim: Kasy and Sheki!

Shego: And the scary part is, that actually looks like it could happen here.

Kim: Me getting pregnant like that?

Shego: Yeah. Oh! Hey, here's another one! _-click-_

**[An hour later]**

Shego: That was actually kinda hot.

Kim: What's so hot about me being a sex fiend?

Shego: What _isn't _hot about you being a sex fiend?

Kim: But, it's actually kinda funny how submissive you are. _-snicker-_

Shego: It's actually kinda funny how you were so protective of me, Ms. Leopard.

Kim: Whatever! Look, there's another one!

Shego: _-under her breath-_ Changing the subject, huh? _-click-_

**[Another hour later]**

Shego: That was _so _cheesey.

Kim: But it was cute.

Shego: Am I really that much of a bitch?

Kim: A little, yeah.

Shego: And you and Mego? Hego maybe, but _Mego_? _-starts cracking up-_

Kim: That's not the point!

Shego: Yeah, the point is, this story is cheesey up the ying-yang.

Kim: _-looks at Shego-_

Shego: _-looks at Kim-_

Kim: _-a sudden blush creeps on her face-_ These stories got me, uh, kinda hot and bothered.

Shego: _-smirk-_

**[curtain closes, but tumbling and gasps can be heard]**

Hahaha, thought it'd be fun to write something like that xD

poking fun at A Small Possibility by NoDrogs

kimmie's a what? by chubi6328, and

Off Limits by WerePuppy Jake, respectively.

_**R&R, if you want.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Ahh, sorry it took me so long to write this, y'all. I have a bad case of writer's block right now, and this is what I came up with.

And I got lazy too, so this chapter isn't even complete, which will probably piss alot of you off, and I'm really sorry, but I actually wrote the majority of this

chapter in an hour since my writer's block was down, and then it came back toward the end. So again, forgive me!

I do know that I write this super hasty, and I apoligize for that too.

**TL;DR:** I'm sorry I'm a shitty author.

Well, enough excuses. Enjoy! :)

* * *

_I'm gonna get my body back! I'm gonna get my body back, back, back!_

Kim sang in her mind. She danced around her room and accidently scraped her lower back against the corner of her desk. She hissed and fell over, trying to clutch the now hypersensitive skin. "Craaaaaap," she called out. Kim laid there on the carpet for a few minutes while the pain resided to tolerable and stood up slowly. She went to her vanity mirror, lifted up her shirt, and turned her upper body 'til she could see the now bright red slash. Kim groaned. "That's gonna bruise,"

She noticed something out of place. It looked like the corner of a sticker. She turned her torso and lifted her shirt up more, trying so hard not to stare at her delicious obliques, until she saw the 2x2 white square patch. "Hmm? What do we have here?" She tried to peel it off, but a very strong adhesive didn't let her. She continued to stare at it, the thoughts about what it could be cycling in her head. _A nicotine patch? So Shay smokes? But he doesn't seem like the kind to…a contraceptive patch? But…Shay's a guy, hrm. _The doorbell suddenly rang, grabbing Kim's attention. _It must be Shay! _She ran down the stairs, almost tripping over herself. But then a sudden thought hit her, and she stopped moving. _What if it's Ron? _She felt adrenaline spike through her system as she slowly, ever so cautiously, moved to the door. _Crap, it is him! _She frowned. She pulled out her kimmunicator and called Shay.

"Yo," Shego answered.

"Yo yourself. We have a problem."

"And that would be…?"

"Ron's here, and he looks upset!" Kim frowned again when she saw Shay laugh.

"What's so funny?" She demanded.

"I sorta called him and acted like you were kidnapped, sorta." Shego smirked.

"Damn it, Shay! Get your ass over here and fix this! Or at least make it look normal!"

"Alright, alright. Calm your tits, I was already on my way anyway."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye~"

Shego threw her kimmunicator to the passenger seat. She was stuck in traffic, and the light had been red for almost 3 minutes. _Of course, _she thought. _Damn it, I'm supposed to be cool, not stuck in traffic! _She growled in frustration and hit the dash board.

* * *

Ron waited outside, but he didn't hear any activity going on inside. He was starting to wonder if anybody was home. He started fiddling with his thumbs and decided that no one was home. He sighed. He started heading off towards his house, deciding to come back later. He didn't see the sexy car pull up a few yards away, or Kim step out of it. He didn't see her jogging up to her house and Tyler opening the door for her.

"Alright, Princess, I'm here. What's up?"

"Well, Ron left right before you came, so thank God."

"Okay, well, are we ready to change our bodies back?"

"Um, yeah. C'mon." Kim grabbed Shego's hand, unconsciously making her smile, and dragged her upstairs to her attic-room.

"Up here," Kim said as she opened the attic door. She let Shay go first and quickly followed after him.

Kim's scent filled Shego's nose and she decided it smelled good. Kim threw herself on her bed. Shego noticed, "Hey, hey, hey, get up! We've got shit to do!"

Kim smiled sheepishly and went to a box in the corner of her room. After digging through a butt-load of Styrofoam peanuts that she sometimes threw at Shay, and ended up laughing because they didn't get very far, and pulled out a maroon plated ray gun. She told Shay to call Wade.

"Hey nerdli-nerd," she corrected herself, "we're about ready."

Wade nodded. "Okay. Kim, you see that black button on the bottom of the gun?" Kim looked for it and found it. "Press it." She pressed it, causing the barrel to rise and separate. "Woah," Shego breathed out. Wade heard and smiled. "Pretty cool, huh?" Shego nodded, wondering why Drakken never made anything that impressive. "Okay Kim, that's what you're gonna do right after you shoot yourself and Tyler, so press the black button again." Kim pressed the button and the separated barrels came together before retracting back into the gun. "There's a red button on the side. Press that before you shoot yourself, Kim. Then press the green button before you shoot Tyler. After that, press the black button on the bottom of the gun and press the white button on the side. Shoot Tyler and yourself at the same time. And that should do it."

"Woah, 'should'?" Shego asked. 'Should' was a bad word to her. Especially with things like this. Wade just nodded. "I mean, there's like, a .08 percent chance it won't work." Shego shook her head a little, _that's a pretty good number. _She was still a bit hesitant because when Drakken said something 'should' work, it usually did the exact opposite, or worse, of what it was supposed to do.

Kim took a deep breath and pointed the gun at her temple. "I'm sorry you guys…I…I just…can't do this anymore!" She jokingly stated before shooting herself, making Shego chuckle and Wade smile. Kim saw blue, her ears heard a gentle jazz song, her tongue tasted cherry while her nose smelled it, and the tips of her fingers felt tingly. She regained her senses and gasped. "_Ala Hijo, _what the hell was _that_?"

"I'll explain later, shoot Tyler now." Kim pushed the green button, just like Wade told her, and pressed the barrel against his temple. Shego decided to play around. "Please don't do it, Kim! I…I love you! Let me make it up to you…I'll be the most faithful husband ever!" Kim smiled and replied, "I'm so sorry, Tyler, but…it has to be done…if only my brother wasn't…YOUR FATHER!" Shego laughed before Kim shot her. Shego saw a deep red, heard a haunting lullaby, her tongue tasted clover while her nose smelled it, and her limbs felt numb. She regained her senses and gasped. "Okay, I'm with Princess here. What the hell was that?"

Wade quirked an eyebrow. "Princess?"

Kim rolled her eyes. "My nickname,"

"Doesn't Shego call you that?" Shego's breathing stopped.

"I thought that too, but apparently she's not the only one." Shego's body surged with relief.

"Huh. Well, hurry up Kim, the gun's memory only lasts three minutes." Kim pressed the black button and let the gun separate before pressing the white one. She pressed it to both their temples, blushing when she finally took notice that their faces were close enough that they were giving each other an Eskimo kiss. Shego noticed the close proximity, too, but didn't really mind.

"Ready, Shay?" Kim asked.

"Just do it,"

Kim smiled, "Nike," and pulled the trigger. Kim and Shego both tasted, saw, smelled, heard, and felt a combination of what they had both experienced. When they regained their senses, they both almost fell over because of the sensory overload. Kim looked at Shay who was in his own body now, and squealed in delight. Shay gasped, feeling overwhelmingly happy. He ran over to Kim and hugged her, lifting her up in the air and twirling her around. Kim was a little embarrassed that he picked her up, and Shay was embarrassed too.

* * *

**Translations:**

_Ala Hijo: _Something like 'Oh My God'. Lit. means: God Son.

**MOAR A/N: **Again, I'm sorry for any hastiness, inconsistincies, and grammar errors 'cause I didn't really fix up this chapter either.

Now I'm gonna go play Half-Life 2, bitches. :)

_**R&R,**_ por favor!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Herro! Sorry for the _really _long wait...writer's block. :/

So, I just came back from a retreat a few hours ago...How have you been? :)

But, no, seriously, how have you guys been? Tell me in a review! Get that shit off your chest, it's killing you! I'd love to listen.

Well anyways, here's Chapter 9...I hope it doesn't disappoint you guys...

OH! And _The Love Contract _and _Sex, Blood, Fire _are totally made up movie titles.

Enjoy!

* * *

Shay had Kim in the air and he was embarrassed. He quickly put her down. They coughed a little awkwardly before taking the kimmunicator.

"Hey Wade!" Kim said in her own body. Wade smiled wide.

"I guess it worked,"

"It did! And about that…that woah thing, what was that?" Shay nodded in conjunction with Kim's question.

"Ah, the side effects," Wade started, "I didn't tell you before, but your minds and/or bodies will be linked in some way for awhile." Kim and Shay frowned. "How?"

"I don't know. You guys have to figure that out."

"Um, okay…I guess," Kim mumbled.

Shay was very curious. He would be linked in some way to Kim? How? And Kim would be linked to him? So weird…

"Alright, well, call me later if you find out what kind of link you guys have." Wade requested.

"Will do,"

"Bye Kim,"

"Later Wade!"

Kim threw the device on her bed and turned to look at Shay. She wanted to know how they would be linked. She gave him a small smile, "So…"

"So…" Shay replied.

"Wanna find out how we're, um, connected?" Shay shrugged.

"I was gonna spend my day with you anyway," he smirked. Kim's smile got brighter. Shay suddenly felt a certain pressure below his navel. "Um, can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure; downstairs, second door to the left,"

"Thanks," he said while descending out of the room.

_So, _Kim thought, _I'm gonna have to stick around Shay, huh? Well that's alright…he's cool, in a weird way. And with a body like that, I'd…ugh, BAD KIM! BAD! No perverted thoughts. No way, no siree. Perverted thoughts? What's that? Never heard of it. Although I do wonder what his….UGH, noooo!_

Kim was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't notice Shay climb back up into her room. Shay saw this and smirked. She was just too easy. He crept up towards her and said aloud, "So, Princess, I saw you mutilated my genitals." Kim almost shat a brick. Shay felt her fear, or so he thought. He frowned a little.

"Holy crap, you scared me. And I did not mutilate your…your thing." He chuckled a little at her choice of words. _She's such a child sometimes…_

"My 'thing'? What are we? Third graders?"

"But penis is such a…it's a weird word!" Kim pouted.

"Ugh, okay, shut up. Let's see how we're linked so we can get the…" Kim glared at Shay, already knowing he was going to cuss, "…heck out of here," he finished with a sigh.

* * *

Shay exhaled in absolute frustration. Kim was giving him the puppy-dog pout, and he swore that it was a weapon that could end wars.

"C'mon! I wanna watch _The Love Contract_!" Kim whined.

"Eww, chick flick. I bet that movie's just a shitty," Kim gave him a look, "…_bad _remake of _Pretty Woman_! And that movie was so…."

"Romantic?" Kim sighed contently.

"Cheesy." Shay corrected.

"Ugh. Like your choice isn't cheesy! You're a man," Shay's lips twitched upwards, "and you wanna watch _Sex, Blood, Fire_!"

"That would be cliché, Princess, not cheesy, and what man _doesn't _want to watch that movie? Megan-fucking-Fox comes out nude!" Kim looked at Shay with disgust etched in her features while Shay pointed an eyebrow up. Shego wasn't one for labeling sexuality; she lusted after whoever, whenever. And Megan Fox happened to be sexy. "You know you want to see Megan Fox naked, too." Shay teased. Kim bit her lip, making him laugh. "You do!" He laughed some more. "Does little Kimmie have a lesbian side? Cause if she does, I'd totally understand."

"Ugh. _Callate, pinche mugroso_." Kim muttered. Shay cracked a smile.

"That didn't sound very nice."

"That's cause it wasn't." Shay let out a frustrated noise.

"Fine, Ms. I'm-a-pain-in-the-ass, we'll go see _The Love Contract,_" Shay said with painfully obvious fake enthusiasm. She was just too cute to say no to, but he had to say yes in his own special way. Kim pouted a little.

"But I kinda…wanted…to see Megan Fox…" Kim murmured.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that." Shay chuckled, having heard her quite clearly.

"Fuck you, Shay. You better not tell anyone about this."

"Alright, alright, your Highness. Sheesh."

Kim smiled and felt like hugging him, so she did. An explosion of warmth took hold their bodies, and they both gasped. Shay gently pushed her to where they weren't touching but closer than usual.

"Was that…?" Kim started.

"I think it was,"

"Wow…" She hugged him again, and the same explosive warmth enveloped their bodies. Shay chuckled and wrapped his arms around her this time, intensifying the warmth.

"Wow is right," Shay stated, still holding Kim close. She reluctantly let go.

"We should tell Wade." Kim said.

"Yes," Shay replied, prolonging the 's'. "But we should watch the movie first. Megan Fox nude is way more important than telepathy."

Kim giggled. She totally agreed with him, not that she'd ever admit that aloud. She was starting to like Shay. _Not _like_ like, of course. _

"So, do you know when the movie's playing next?" She inquired. They _were_ both stuck in her room, trying to figure out the link; but you can only stay focused on something for so long. Their discussion about being linked had ended up turning to telepathy in general, going into superpowers and the supernatural, and then eventually into movies.

"Hum," Shay sighed. "Can you check on your beeper thingy?"

"The kimmunicator?" Kim asked. He nodded. "Yeah, sure, hold on,"

* * *

"Monique! I don't know who else to go to about this sorta thing…" Ron mumbled.

After he had taken off from Kim's since he assumed no one was home, Ron had been a sputtering, paranoid, pathetic heap. He called Monique since the diva, he figured, was smart and would know what to do. She'd answered his called worried since he only ever called if something was wrong with Kim, which there wasn't, not that he knew that. She agreed to meet him at Bueno Nacho to discuss the situation further.

"Okay Naco Boy, spill."

"Well, Kim called me earlier today, right? And I was thinking 'Oh! Kim!'," he smiled here, "so I took the call. But her voice was so…ugh, _sweet_. And _girly_. And we both know Kim isn't either of those. So I started to get worried and asked who it was. And then her voice changed, it got more sinister. She said that her name was Kimberly Ann Possible, and like, nobody uses their full name when asked something like that! So I asked whoever it was what they had done with her, and what they wanted and they said that they wanted Kim! And my soul!" He finshed with a whine.

Monique blinked.

Once.

Ron looked so worried and lovesick.

Twice.

_This is ridiculous!_

She started howling with laughter, earning her a few looks from the customers in the restaurant. Ron scowled at her. His girlfriend was in danger and she was _laughing_? Totally not cool!

"C'mon Mon, I'm being serious! Something's wrong with KP,"

"Look, I'll call her suspicious-ass up and see for myself, okay?"

Ron glanced at her wearily, but agreed nonetheless. She smiled.

"Alright, cool. So I think we're done here?" Ron nodded. The black beauty stood up promptly and waved before leaving. She could only stand fast-food smell for so long.

Ron watched Monique leave, the door swooshing shut behind her. Rufus scampered out of the blonde boy's pocket and up his sleeve, worried about his master.

"'S okay, Rufus. Monique said she'd see what's up with our Kimbo." He smiled weakly at his naked pet.

* * *

TRANSLATIONS!

_Callate, pinche mugroso.-_ Shut up, fucking dirtbag.

That's what it means, well, to me at least. xD

Auf Wiedersein! :D (if i spelled that wrong, sorry! ^_^")


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey you guys. I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever and a day. Writer's Block. And I'm losing interest in this story. And KiGo. :(**

**So, guess what? I like someoneeee! :D I know that souns super lame of me, but ugh. After my GF broke up with me, I've been a sad pile of shit. But I'm happy again! **

**Hahaha, anyways, here's chapter ten. Sorry for any inconsistincies, grammar, or idk, shit. I'm too lazy to edit, so yeah.**

**And if anyone is interested in adopting this story, PM me or something, cause I'm getting bored of it.**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Ugh, that Megan Fox…I swear, she'll be the death of me." Shay stated. Kim rolled her eyes. They were walking side by side out of the movie theater. Shay popped some left-over popcorn into his mouth. It was cold outside and Kim watched her breath turn into small wisps. She wondered if that was what smoking felt like. Her thoughts wandered around it and remembered that Shay had a small white square on his lumbar that looked suspiciously like a nicotine patch.

"Shay, have you ever smoked? I won't tell if you have, I promise!" She held up her right hand. He wondered where Kim's mind was as they reached his car.

"Why do you ask?" His eyebrow was raised as he entered the driver's side. Kim got in through the opposite way before answering, "Well, I don't know…I'm just curious?" She offered. Shay nodded his head, starting the car.

"No, I haven't. Though it's a habit I wouldn't mind having…" He trailed off.

"Then what's that patch on your back?" Kim blurted out. _Oops. _She didn't want to corner him with questions, so she beat around the bush. But the color of his face drained, and he opened his mouth to say something, except nothing was coming out. Kim thought he resembled a goldfish. It made her suspicious.

Shego felt the adrenaline rush through her male body. _Shit. She saw that…argh, think Shego, THINK! Um…okay, Tyler, play it cool. _Kim was on the verge of questioning the presence of the patch, when suddenly, Shego smirked, slipping back into Tyler's persona. "So…you admit to oogling my body, eh Miss Priss?" Kim blushed furiously, while Shego mentally smacked herself for revealing yet _another _nickname. _Damn it, _she mentally huffed. _Well, at least I diverted her train of thought._

* * *

Dr. Drakken was…well…for lack of a better term, _bored._ He had actually organized his entire lair, albeit sloppily. He avoided Shego's room of course. But he was very, _very_, dangerously curious to what was behind that ordinary door. He eyed the piece of paper that was taped on it.

_Don't even __think__ about it. _

That, of course, had him thinking about it. About going into her room. She wasn't here. She wouldn't know. But if she did, he'd be nine kinds of fucked. He thrust his chest out with seemingly manly pride, thinking that he shouldn't be afraid of a woman. With that resolve, the blue man put his hand on the door knob and turned it. The right half of his face poked through the crack between the door and the wall, before throwing it completely open. A blast of white light coming at his face was the last thing he saw before he blacked out.

* * *

"Hey! Monique!" A valley girl accent called out. Monique craned her neck in the direction of the voice. It was Bonnie. _What does _she _want? _Monique thought. Bonnie jogged up to her. They were both at the mall, inside Club Banana. Monique was working, folding misplaced shirts and pants with that nifty table that folded, while Bonnie was shopping. She had more than a few Club Banana bags hanging on her arm.

"Um, heyy, Bonnie…what's up?" She inquired awkwardly. Bonnie seemed totally unaffected by the obviously tense atmosphere and smiled one of those big, award winning smiles that little girls used to get something they wanted. Now Monique understood. The queen bee-otch wanted something.

"Have you seen the _new guy_? I mean, wow, that kid is like, de_lish_!" Bonnie swooned. Monique rolled her eyes. Sure, that Tyler dude was _fucking _hot, but she wasn't really interested. "C'mon Monique, don't tell me you haven't seen him."

"Yeah, _Bon-Bon_," Monique emphasized the name Bonnie hated, "I have seen him around. But don't waste your time, girl. He's into Kim," Bonnie's eyes bulged. That couldn't be true…

"What? He is _not _into that dork! He's _way _too good for her!" Bonnie squealed.

"Well, I mean, that's what I think," Monique sighed.

* * *

When Shay got to his apartment after dropping Kimmie off, he made a beeline for the bathroom. He need a mirror. He shrugged off his jacket and threw it to the floor and took off his shirt. He twisted his back, searching for that damned patch. When he found it, he peeled it off, and his olive complexion turned to Shego's pale skin. He leaned against granite counter, his face hovering above the sink.

"That was close," he said under his breath.

The now pale man replaced the patch on the inside of his thigh and his pale skin went back to its olive complexion.

"Stupid Kimmie, scaring me to death. Shit," he muttered. He stormed to his room and flopped onto the bed. He stayed like that for awhile. Shay finally sat up, staring straight ahead of him. Oh, a TV. He forgot that was there.

He turned it on, searching through the guide for something worth watching. After coming up with nothing, he surfed through the movie channels. _Sex Files: Tall, Dark, and Handsome_. Shay's eyes lit up. Sex! He pressed 'select' on the remote.

The TV went black for a second before a woman in a very snug police uniform came on screen. She was brunette, busty, and had an ass to die for. It seemed her work day had just ended since she just walked into her apartment. She threw her keys into a bowl that was on a table by the door. She put her sexy little hat on it, too. She walked through the hallway. Suddenly, a dark figure popped out at the end of the hallway and charged at her. He pushed her up against the wall, restraining her. _Ooo, rape. Yum, _Shay thought.

"Listen, bitch," the figure spat at her, "you remember me? You had me put away a few months back," the brunette's eyes were huge by now, filled with fear, "and I got out. And now, I'm gonna get my _revenge_," he stressed the last word by licking her right cheek. She pulled away as much as she could—which wasn't a lot—in disgust.

By now, Shay had felt the beginning of an erection. He touched himself through his jeans until he was steel hard. His breathing had changed, too. It was now hard and shallow.

"No! Please! I'll do anything! Don't kill me," the busty woman shouted as he ripped off her clothes. Shay slowly unzipped his jeans, teasing himself. He slid off his jeans, and now, his erection was obvious through his boxers.

The actress's breasts were swaying wildly as he pumped in and out of her, her wailing telling him to stop…and then _not _to stop.

Shay was stroking his member and was marveled at how it throbbed and twitched. He ran fingers over his shaft and accidently touched his tip, making him hiss. He finally grabbed it and started pumping. His chest and back were slightly sweaty. He started growling, deep throaty moans coming from him. And then his cell phone rang.

He cursed aloud. He went and got it from his jean pocket, looking at who it was. _Drakken Calling._

"What the _fuck_ does he want?" Shay roared. He hit the answer button.

"What." He demanded.

"Shego…you…you have to help me…" Drakken's voice sounded a lot lighter than it usually did.

"What's the matter?"

"I…I…I'm a…I'M A WOMAN!" He, or rather she, cried.

"…the _fuck_?" Shay managed.


	11. Chapter 11

"Ohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigod!" Drakken shook her free hand nervously.

On the other end, Shay stifled laughter at his employer's anxiety.

"Shego, are you laughing?"

There was a brief pause on Shay's end. "Can you blame me?" The levity went out of his voice somewhat, replaced by a mocking tone. "What part of 'Don't even think about it!' wasn't written in English?"

"How could you do this to me?" Drakken looked down at herself. Her short, pony tailed hair was now an untamed raven mane. Her scar was far less prominent on her face. Her body was curvier than one would expect from a woman her age. In short, she was a MILF…assuming that she had any children, which, of course, she did not.

"Turning a guy into a chick…what _did_ I do to you, Drew?"

Drakken took a closer look at her body. It gave her a tingle. "Don't change the subject! How can I rule the world with these shapely legs…" …along which she ran her fingers. "…and these bouncy, C-cup breasts…" …which she gave a squeeze. "I'll have to call you back." Drakken hung up the phone, eager to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime situation.

Shay hung up the phone and tossed it behind him, still on his porn-watching high. Enough time seemed to have passed with the phone call that the movie was on another sex scene.

This one, which featured the lead actress getting reamed from behind once again, got Shay hard as a rock within moments.

With the mental image in his head, Shay went to town, stroking himself like it was going out of style.

Suddenly, the actresses' brown hair lightened somewhat, taking on a reddish hue. When the actress opened her eyes, they changed from a light brownish color to a deep forest green.

The lips of the actress parted. "Oh, Shay", the actress moaned in a voice that sounded very familiar to him.

The actresses' body shrank a little while retaining its femininity. Shay could feel himself reaching climax.

The image of the woman was clear…it was Kim!

Kim was the one being reamed from behind. She grunted happily as a strong, olive-toned figure pumped into her.

"Take it, Kimmie!, yelled the figure.

Shay grunted loudly as his seed flew, splattering his upper chest. As he regained his bearings, he glanced down at the mess he made.

"That was…strange."

* * *

Kim shuddered a little as she walked into Club Banana. It wasn't a cool breeze shudder so much as a feeling of euphoria. Kim shrugged it off and ran up to Monique. She had gotten so good at her job that she was perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation even while performing her duties, such as she did now with her red-haired friend.

"That's ridiculous." Kim stared at Monique in disbelief.

Monique folded a fancy sweater as she spoke. "The way he tells it, not really."

"Come on. He thinks I have a thing for Shay?"

"Every girl in Middleton has a thing for that boy, even if they're already attached."

"Yeah. Who could resist those eyes?"

"That smile…"

"That body…", the girls swooned in unison.

Monique shook herself away from fantasizing and took Kim's hands in her own. "Remember what I told you, girl. Stand by your Ron."

"You're right."

"That's my girl."

As Monique went back to hanging up designer blouses, Kim gained a purposeful stride. She wasn't going to let some hunk of beefcake distract her from her true-blue BFBF. She just knew that things would get back to normal.

* * *

It had been an interesting couple of hours for the woman formerly known as Drakken. He…_She_ retreated to Shego's room, careful to dodge the gender change gun (which, Drakken saw, was rigged with fishing line attached to the trigger).

Drew (who couldn't help but notice that his real name was gender-neutral) disrobed and stared at herself in Shego's full-length wall mirror. She let out a long whistle; she liked what she saw. She groped a breast and allowed her other hand to drift south toward her hairy snatch. Drew let out a satisfied hiss as she began pleasuring herself. She considered herself grateful that her henchmen were all either imprisoned or engaged with leisure time.

In the midst of finishing up, Drew noticed that Shego's closet was open. She glanced at the green fabric peeking out.

A smile started to form on her face.

Drew reached into the closet and pulled out one of Shego's catsuits. Giggling to herself, she slipped it on, surprised that it fit her disproportionate fame.

She turned around, focusing on how her ass looked.

"I'm Shego," Drew stated in a higher register than her alto voice. "I love mouthing off to my boss, who comes up with the greatest plans, but gets no respect."

"_Cute."_

Drew turned around with a start. Against the wall stood Shay, his arms folded. His expression was somewhere between anger and amusement. Angmusement, if you will.

"But there is something I love more than mouthing off to you," he said, lighting his hand up with green plasma.

Drew retreated from Shay fearfully. "Shego, please. You wouldn't hurt a woman, would you?"

"I hurt Possible all the time."

"But you're a man now. Society frowns on that kind of thing."

With a flick of the wrist, Shay extinguished the flame of his hand. "Good point." Shay walks behind Drew, getting a good look at her. "Besides…", he said, giving Drew a smack on her butt. "…you're such a cute one."

Drew scowled at Shay. "Well, this has been fun, but I need to change back."

"Why?"

"This isn't right; me as a woman."

"What are you going to do, stay here and 'monitor my progress'?"

Drew nodded her head. "That was the plan."

"Well, _Doc_, I have a better idea."

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

"With your…advanced age-"

"I prefer 'maturity'."

"Whatever, and your, ahem, doctorate, you'd make a decent teacher."

Drew shook her head. "No."

"Yes."

"I think not."

"I think so. Look, Stoppable sticks to Possible like a rash." Shay threw his arm around Drew. "Maybe, if there were a teacher to, you know, dump a crapton of homework on him, it would allow me to close the deal."

Drew started to think. "That…doesn't sound too bad."

"And when it's all over and we get back to our regular selves and Possible is crushed…" Shay whispered in her employer's ear. "…world…domination."

Drew jumped up. "I like it!"

"I had a feeling."

"There's so much to do. We need to get started." Drew peeled off the catsuit, leaving her bare as the day is long.

Shay's eyes goggled. "First, you may want to think about a Brazilian wax."

Drew shook her head. "Brazilian…? Will there be pain involved?"

Shay smiled. "Not for me."

* * *

Ron sat on the couch in his living room. He spent quite a bit of time ruminating about the Shay situation. He thought it was nice to get some perspective from Monique, but he felt that this problem could benefit from a male gaze.

"I'm just a little…worried that Kim may be falling for this new guy, you know?"

Mr. Stoppable adjusted his glasses. "Son, from what you've told me, this new guy sounds like a piece of work."

"You have no idea."

"Ronald", the man said, throwing an arm around his son. "…in my experience, girls can't control themselves around guys like…what did you say his name was?"

"Shay." Ron said the name like he had just spit out poison.

"These guys may have better looks, better modes of transportation, funnier jokes, stronger personalities, better fashion sense-"

"Dad, are you going anywhere with this?"

"I am. My point is, you strip away all that and what's left? You've been friends with Kimberly forever. I doubt that either of you would want a guy like this to come between your friendship or a burgeoning relationship."

"Yeah, Dad, but it's happened before. Josh back in freshman year and Eric at prom."

"And you ended up getting the girl, didn't you?"

"Yeah", Ron stated, not entirely confident."

"I'm sorry. What?"

"I _did_ get the girl!"

"You did, but can you keep the girl?"

"I can!"

"That's the spirit."

Ron rushed out the front door. Moments later, Mrs. Stoppable popped in from the kitchen.

"I heard what you told Ron. That was very sweet."

"I meant it, though I'm not sure if I should've mentioned the alternative."

"What 'alternative'?"

"Kimberly's hormones decide that she likes this guy better and she stays with him for a while, then, years down the line, she decides to look up that great guy she was with before and settle down with him."

Mrs. Stoppable gave her husband a disapproving look.

"If I told him he'd have to wait another decade for the girl of his dreams, he'd spend all of his time moping."

The woman's expression didn't waver a bit.

"Honey, don't look at me like that. If that alternative wasn't true, we probably wouldn't even have a son."

Mrs. Stoppable regarded her husband with a glance of contrition. "Good point."

The man pulled his wife onto the couch. "You see?" He smothered her neck in kisses, eliciting girlish giggles from the woman.

* * *

The sun shined down on Middleton Park. Kim and Ron settled at opposite ends of the park. Kim glanced over and saw Ron looking around.

Kim rushed toward him, a smile on her face. "Ron", she called out.

Ron turned around and saw Kim. As if in some cheesy romantic comedy, Ron ran to Kim. The two stopped just short of crashing into each other.

Ron kissed Kim on her lips.

"Look…", they both said.

"You go ahead."

"I'm sorry about the whole Shay sitch."

"I'm sorry about overreacting to the whole Shay sitch."

"So…where do we go from here?"

"How 'bout Bueno Nacho?"

"Spankin'."

The two teens walked off together, hand in hand.

* * *

The next day, for the most part, went without incident. Kim did her best to ignore Shay, who did his best to needle her.

After lunch, the students settled into their seats for the next class. To their surprise, Mr. Barkin stood at the front of the room.

"Listen up, people! Your physics teacher, Mrs. McGrath was felled by the meatloaf surprise and will be out indefinitely. Taking her place will be Miss Dravinsky."

At that moment, Miss Dravinsky stepped in. A demure, beige-skinned beauty, with dark hair that framed a cute face, marred only by a slight scar on her left side. She wore a blue suit jacket with matching skirt, showing off legs that went on for days.

"I hope that you show her the same respect that you do me…or else." Barkin narrowed his eyes and exited the classroom.

"Okay, class." A smile developed on the woman's face. "Shall we get started?"

* * *

"Oh, man. That has to be a record. I think the new teacher has it out for me." Class had let out and Ron sounded worn out.

"Come on, Ron. How can a teacher have it out for you?"

"Need I mention Barkin? Dravinsky's like a female Barkin."

Kim folded her arms playfully. "I think you're overreacting."

"She called on me nine times. That can't be an overreaction." Ron pulled out a pink piece of paper. "And she gave me detention. Can she do that on her first day?"

Kim patted Ron on the back. "Don't worry. Once she gets to know you, I'm sure she'll like you."

"It's going to take some time for her to know me. I mean…she doesn't even know my name!"

* * *

As school let out, Shay walked down the sidewalk. A car drove alongside him. Behind the wheel was Ms. Dravinsky.

"Need a ride, young man?"

"Sorry. I don't take rides from strangers."

Ms. Dravinsky tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "Nnnnnnh! Shego!"

"Of course, I know it's you." Shay leaned into the open window. "Do you know what would happen if someone saw us together?"

"They'd get the impression that I could do better?"

Shay laughed a little. "Right. _You_ could do better. Someone, like Possible, might see us and put two and two together."

"Please. Who could possibly recognize us like this? Neither Possible nor the buffoon have figured it out and it'll be too late by the time they do."

"Still, better safe than sorry. I'll be in touch."

Ms. Dravinsky drove to catch up with Shay. "Did you mean that about strangers?"

Shay rolled his eyes. "Of course not. They have all the best candy."

The substitute chuckled, as if to say, 'That's true'. So lost was she in Shay's line that she nearly ran into a student who crossed in front of her.

"Watch where your going, Grandma! Some of us walk!" It was none other than Bonnie Rockwaller, and as she stomped off, Ms. Dravinsky started to twitch.

* * *

Drew Lipsky shuffled down the hallways of his high school. Senior year was a time to be proud, but, with his thick glasses, greasy skin and wardrobe by Mom, he was 'the thing that could not get laid'. Some students even said this to his face.

Case in point: Vonnie Weissmuller (yes, the name _is_ a coincidence). With her shapely figure, cutting-edge fashion and holier-than-thou attitude, she ruled this school…and was not shy about reminding people of that.

Drew walked up to Vonnie. "Hey, Vonnie", he sputtered out in an attempt to sound confident.

Vonnie visibly shuddered. "What do you want, Drew?"

"I was wondering if you might…maybe…want to go to the Homecoming Dance with me?"

Vonnie stared for a good ten seconds before she burst out in laughter. Drew stood his ground. He expected this.

"Me, the shoo-in for Homecoming Queen, be seen in public with 'the thing that could not get laid'?"

"Well, yes."

At this, Vonnie laughed even harder. She grabbed Drew by the shoulders and kneed him in the crotch, which was always engorged at the sight of her. This, he expected as well.

* * *

Ms. Dravinsky teared up at the memory. Granted, karma fixed Vonnie's little red wagon but good (she was currently 'the thing that could not stop eating'), but still…

The teacher glared at the departing Bonnie. She thought to herself, 'looks like I have two of these brats on my to-do list'.

* * *

Shay pulled his car around, trolling for Kim. He spotted her sitting under a tree and pulled up to her.

With a honk of the horn, Shay smiled a killer smile at the girl. "Need a lift?"

Kim folded her arms. "Not that it's your business, but I'm waiting for someone."

"Who, your boyfriend?"

"Exactly."

"He wears detention so well."

"Would you please get lost?"

"Am I bothering you, Kimmie?"

"Nail on the head."

"You ought to drop the dud and get with a stud."

Kim scoffed in disbelief. "Does that line really work?"

"Wanna hop in and find out?"

Kim leapt to her feet and fast-walked away from Shay. Her mood lifted as she saw Ron exit the school.

"Man, I hate detention." Kim responded to Ron's statement with a hug. "Wow, you're in a good mood."

"I just need some Ronshine."

Shay glared at the couple walking away.

"Playing hard-to-get, Princess? Have it your way, but I play to win."


	12. Chapter 12

Twilight had fallen on Middleton. Shay took a look at himself in the mirror. As per usual, he liked what he saw. The ringing of the phone took him out of his reverie.

With a groan, he glanced at the call-waiting screen.

"'D'. Great." He mashed the 'talk' button. "What up, Doc?"

"_How goes it?"_

"Slow." Shay set the phone down and started doing sit-ups.

"_I don't get it, Shego. You were supposed to be this irresistible Lothario, and yet, we're still here."_

"And what have _you _done? Given Stoppable three days detention? Whoo-hoo for Y-O-U."

"_Four, and you know I don't understand Pig Latin."_

Shay rolled his eyes.

"_We'll just have to step up our efforts."_

"Humor me, here: how would you feel about some ideas I have about this?"

"_How do you mean?"_

"Think of it like variables in a math problem. You eliminate certain variables, you change the answer."

"_What kind of variables?"_

A devious smile formed on Shay's lips. "I'll let you know."

"_Ohhhh. Can't you tell me?"_

"It's a surprise."

"_Shego, I am your boss and I dem- oooh, 'Grey's Anatomy' is on!"_

For a flicker of a second, Shay worried that Dravinsky's viewing habits were a side effect of the gender switch, until he remembered that Drakken couldn't get enough of the show when he was male.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

Kim arrived a few minutes earlier than usual. Getting some Ronshine the previous day seemed to fire her up for today. She took some books from her locker.

From the end of the hall, Shay eyed her, a smile developing on his face. As he got closer to Kim, he fixed his gaze on a picture stuck to the inside of her door. It was of Shego.

'No…way', Shay thought to himself as he drew closer. "How goes it, Possible?"

Kim jumped at hearing the voice. "What are you doing here so early?"

"Can't think of a better place for breakfast. Cheaper than a McMuffin, too." Shay reached out and grabbed the picture of his former self. "So, you _do_ like the ladies."

"No!", Kim stated, a little louder than she expected. "No."

"I've heard things about her. Hell of a fighter, witty and that body…mmmm!"

Kim snatched the picture from Shay's grip. "I like keeping tabs on the villains."

Shay gave her a condescending nod. "Sure you do."

"What do you know?"

"Kim and Shego, sitting in a tree, F-U-C-"

Kim slammed her locker. She stomped down the hall. Ron ran up to her.

"KP, you all right? You look like you ate a lemon for breakfast."

The redhead said nothing. Ron glanced back at Shay, who raised his hands, as if to say, 'what the hell are you looking at?'.

"Nothing. 'You _do_ like the ladies'. Man, what I wouldn't give to-" Kim punched her hand.

"That's crazy. Of course, you're all about the guys…not that that wouldn't be super hot. I mean, there are a lot of fine girls here I wouldn't mind you…" Ron trailed off as he noticed Kim's death glare. Ron chuckled nervously. "Okay, what were we talking about again?"

* * *

Lunch rolled around. What the students were served could barely classify as food, so they had to make do.

Ron walked alongside Kim, carrying a tray of the unknown. "I'm telling you, KP, there should be a law against serving this stuff."

"I'm sure there are several, but why would you even get it if it's so rank?"

"I'm supposed to starve?"

Monique waved Kim and Ron over. "Kim!"

"Spankin'!"

Kim and Ron took two empty seats next to each other.

Shay made his way to an empty table. It was a perfect spot; on the other side of the cafeteria in full view of Kim. The only things he had with him, other than a notebook, were a banana and a peach.

"I can't wait for practice after school today. I've got this routine worked out that…"

Kim trailed off as she saw Shay peel the banana. He put it in his mouth, but instead of biting a piece off, he bobbed his head on the fruit suggestively. Kim cringed at the display and wondered why no one else seemed to be reacting to it.

Shay took the banana out, grazing the tip with his tongue before winking at Kim.

"Oh, my God!"

Within moments, all eyes were on Kim.

Ron put a hand on her shoulder. "Kim, what's wrong?"

Kim was about to point at Shay, who was nonchalantly flipping through a notebook.

"Nothing. I'm just…really religious." Kim shook her head. Did she see that or imagine it? "Anyway, I think the girls will be really impressed. Even Bonnie."

"Sounds great. Stinks I'll have to miss it, though. The cheer squad needs its mascot." As Ron continued to talk, Kim's gaze drifted toward Shay once again. This time, he was slurping on half of a peach very deliberately.

He hunched over as he flicked his tongue inside the middle. He seemed to reach forward and squeeze the air, like he was honking it.

Kim nudged Monique.

"What is it?"

Kim motioned to Shay with her eyes, lest she cause another scene. Shay continued to slurp the peach.

"You see that?"

"Yeah, I see."

"I can't believe how perverted he is."

Monique sighed. "I can't believe how much I wish I was that peach."

* * *

Between classes, Kim and Ron walked down the hall, careful to make it on time to Miss Dravinsky's physics class. Kim, however, wasn't her usual calm self.

"The nerve of that Shay! What did he hope to accomplish with that little show?"

"I'm not sure. By the way, KP, what did you get for number 12?"

"Bananas and peaches. He's not fooling anybody!"

"That's funny. I got 'x = 4'."

Unbeknownst to Kim and Ron (but knownst to us), Shay stood behind a locker, banana peel in hand. He grinned as the couple approached.

"I'm sorry, Ron. I just…"

"Don't worry about it. You just need to stay calm and-"

"Ron, look out!"

Ron stopped walking. "What?"

"Your shoelaces."

He looked down. Indeed, they were loose. "Good catch, KP", he said, hunkering down to tie them. "You can never be too careful."

As Ron straightened up, Shay tossed the banana peel in his path.

"One wrong move and-"

Ron stepped on the banana peel and, as one would expect from years of cartoon watching, he fell to the ground, landing on his side.

"Ron!" Kim ran to her boyfriend. "Are you all right?"

"Never better, KP." Ron rose to his feet. "Just got to walk it- owwwwwwww!" Ron settled to the floor. "How far are we from the nurse's office?"

* * *

Using a crutch, Ron hobbled his way down the hall to the nurse's office. He shooed Kim away when he got there; no reason for the both of them to get detention because of him.

Ron made it to Miss Dravinsky's room…just as the ending bell rang.

He stood back to avoid being trampled by the departing students. Miss Dravinsky glared at Ron through the crowd.

"Mister… you better have a really good excuse for missing today's course."

The crowd dispersed, allowing the substitute a good look at Ron's crutch.

"Okay, that is a good one."

"I'm sorry, Miss D. I really wanted to make it to class."

Miss Dravinsky took another look at it. "And you're not faking?"

"Why would I fake a broken leg? Granted, I've thought about it, but I've heard of guys who tried it and all the stuff they had to go through. It just wasn't worth it."

Grabbing a pencil from the desk, Miss Dravinsky poked the leg with the eraser side. After a few pokes…

"Owwwwwww!"

"Okay, you're not faking. That's still a week of detention."

"Miss Dravinsky!"

"You still missed my class. I should just ignore that?"

"Under the circumstances, yes."

"_Stoppable!"_

Ron and Miss Dravinsky turned at hearing the booming voice of Mr. Barkin.

"You wouldn't be contradicting your fetching new substitute, would you?"

Ron glanced back at Miss Dravinsky. He was surprised to hear the word 'fetching', but she was pretty. Not as much as Kim's mom, he idly wondered, but pretty.

"Mr. B, I fell trying to get here and I broke my leg. I was in the nurse's office the whole time. She's still giving me a week's detention!"

Barkin put his hand up. "I'll do you a deal, Stoppable. Get out of my sight and it's just a week."

Ron, realizing when he was licked, hobbled his way out of class.

Barkin jerked his thumb. "You just have to know how to handle them."

"Thank you, I think." Miss Dravinsky side-stepped Mr. Barkin and walked out of the room, wondering what the hell kind of name Stoppable was. There was a light sway in her hips that the former military man noticed right away.

"I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave."

* * *

The girls of the Middleton High cheer squad loved what they did; getting the crowds whipped up before a game.

Among other things, it was good exercise and it made for an appealing stat on admissions records. Of course, some of the girls (with their lithe bodies and good looks) couldn't help but show off, at times.

In spite of Kim's build-up, the new routine was fairly straightforward; after all, there was only so much one could do without risking physical pain.

The final flip resulted in a pyramid that resembled, if glanced at from afar, a house: Hope, Crystal and Liz stood at the base and on their shoulders were Marcella, Jessica and Tara. Further atop were Kim and Bonnie, who reluctantly held hands to keep from falling.

Kim and Bonnie let each other go and flipped to the safety of the gym mats below. The other girls soon followed.

As the girls took a breather, Bonnie walked over to her gym bag and took a swig of bottled water. Kim clapped, beaming with pride.

"All right, girls, that was pretty good."

"It was, if 'pretty good' is another way of saying 'lame'."

Kim gritted her teeth. "A problem, Bonnie?"

"Yeah. That routine was so…standard. Why can't we do something like…the Fountain of Troy?"

Tara gasped. "I heard that routine was _prohibidado_."

"Grow up, Tara. How can we impress people doing the same old crap?"

"Maybe, you're here to impress people, but we're here for the school spirit."

Bonnie approached Kim, close enough that they were nose to nose.

"_Kiss!"_

Kim and Bonnie stared in the direction of the interloper. It was Shay.

"Cheerleaders. You give a guy ideas."

Bonnie flipped her hair back and giggled. "Hey, Shay."

Kim gagged at the (admittedly cheap) rhyme.

Bonnie sashayed toward him, her intentions clear as crystal. "So, what brings you here?"

"Possible."

Bonnie's eyes goggled. "Good luck cracking that nut. She and Stoppable are tight. Speaking of which, like it matters, but where is the loser?"

"Detention, with a broken leg."

Tara put her hands over her mouth. "A broken leg? Oh, no."

"He'll be fine." In spite of the dismissive tone, Shay knew this too well. No matter what he and Dravinsky threw at him, he still managed to bounce back.

Kim charged toward Shay. "He only broke that leg because of the banana peel that you left in the hall."

Shay shrugged. "How do you know it was me?"

"You were eating a banana."

"Me and about a hundred other students. Bananas are very healthy and delicious."

"'Delicious'. I saw what you were doing with that banana."

"If you can't prove it, did it even really happen?"

Bonnie grabbed Shay's arm, surprising him. "Okay, this is getting boring. Let's talk about us."

"Didn't know there _was_ an 'us'."

"There can be." Bonnie punctuated this by fluttering her eyes at him.

"You know there's something wrong with your eyes. Better get 'em looked at." Shay removed her arm and approached Kim. "Shall we? You don't need to change."

"Get lost." The Kimmunicator started to beep. Kim ran to her gym bag and took it out. "What is it, Wade?"

"A hit on the site." Shay wanders over to Kim, curiosity leading the way. "Remember that death ray Drakken got from Jack Hench last week?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, Professor Dementor got ahold of it. He was spotted in Canada."

"Ron and I will…" Kim suddenly remembered. "Actually, it'll be just me. Ron broke his leg."

"Okay. I'll have a ride there in ten."

"Badical." Kim switched off the device.

"You know, if you need help with your mission, I'm an able body."

"I think I can take care of myself. Besides, the last time you showed up on a mission, I ended up with your able body."

"Yeah, and I was inside of you." Shay couldn't help but chuckle. "C'mon, that was a body-switch machine." How Monkey Fist procured one or even why he'd want it in the first place, Shay couldn't begin to understand. "This is a death ray." Shay leaned in close to Kim. "I could get killed", he stated in a singsong voice.

A smile formed on Kim's face. "It's a date."

"Really?"

"_Deal_! It's a deal." 'Shit', Kim thought to herself. 'Why did I say date?'


	13. Chapter 13

Just a note: this has nothing to do with why the chapter wasn't posted sooner, but I'd just like to say that by the time you read this, I'll be celebrating a birthday, so, you know, whatever.

* * *

For villains, death rays weren't easy to come by. If one could afford it (after all, henchmen don't hench for free), there was also the matter of upkeep. Those things break down like toasters.

Professor Dementor had been in the market to obtain one and when he'd heard that Drakken had gotten one, he had to take it from him. Fair_ is_ fair. An abandoned cave in Saskatchewan made for a pretty good base of operations.

His maniacal laughter rang throughout, as his henchmen stood watch.

"Within moments, Canada will fall to its _knees_! With their hockey and their beaver tails and free health care…they've had it too good for too long." He turned to one of his henchmen, who was manning the machine. "How long until the ray is _charged_?"

"It shouldn't be more than four minutes."

"Excellent. Just enough time to enjoy my lunch." Dementor pulled out a plastic fork and started to dine. "I don't know what that elfin comedian is talking about. This Famous Bowl is _delicious_!"

At the mouth of the cave, Kim and Shay approached with caution.

"You're still new to missions, so I should warn you that Dementor likely has guards waiting to attack intruders."

"Doi. You think so?" Shay took the lead, inching along the walls of the cave. Kim narrowed her eyes at him as she followed.

Kim snuck behind a rock formation. She was taken aback at the expansiveness of the cave. Among several rock formations (perfect for remaining undetected), the death ray pointed out of a hole in the side.

"All we need to do is disarm the death ray and stop Dementor."

"Easier done than said." Shay raced off to another rock formation. With a frustrated grunt, Kim snuck towards it.

"Are you out of your mind? Don't you believe in stealth?"

Shay grabbed Kim's shoulder. "Don't you believe in pull the stick out of your ass?"

"_Kim Possible…"_

The two teens glanced up at Dementor, who glared from his platform.

"…and…okay, who is that?"

Shay stepped forward. "None of your business."

"It hardly matters. In less than two minutes, Canada will be decimated and you will bear witness to my new _regime_!"

"I think not."

Before Kim could move, Dementor whipped out a gun, one that caused Shay to pale.

"You know, us villains waste so much time with the monologuing and the complicated death traps. _Mit_ this gun I found, I can take care of you so much easier."

Shay put his hands up. "Wait. Can't we talk about this?"

"Hmmm. No." Dementor fired the gun at Kim and Shay, who leapt out of the way. A bright blue light emanated from the weapon. "It's not a regular firearm? Why didn't Drakken label this _gun_? _Dummkopf_!"

Kim ran toward the death ray. Shay, meanwhile was dodging the gun blasts.

"Is that all you got?", Shay said, confidently.

"Not even close." Dementor set his sights on the arrogant young man. Shay tripped on an errant rock and fell on his face.

The beam hit Shay. He started to groan as his bones reshaped themselves. His arms and legs lost the definition they had, gaining a feminized shape. His lips plumped, becoming full. Eyelashes grew around his eyes. His nose shrank, perking up a little. The most notable change came when two lumps expanded on his chest, forming into a pair of C-cup breasts. Shego was back.

She glanced down at her breasts and fondled them. "Didn't think I'd miss these."

"_Shay, are you all right?"_

Putting as much gruffness into her voice as she could, Shego called out, "Yeah, just a little off-guard."

Kim pointed at Dementor. "What did you do to him?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Dementor fired the gun, but Kim got out of the way before the blast hit her.

Shego scampered behind another rock formation. 'Okay, crunch time', she thought to herself. 'If Possible sees me in Shay's clothes, she'll figure it out and I'm fucked. What do I do?'

She glanced over at a crate that had purple fabric sticking out of it. She took the garment out. It was like the outfits of Dementor's henchmen, but designed for a woman. Shego smirked; as if a woman would take a job for a super villain…then groaned at the irony.

"Not my color, but it _is_ my size."

"You are wasting your time, Kim Possible. Canada is 60 seconds from destruction."

"You seriously need a new hobby", Kim declared as she jump-kicked the henchman away from the death ray and frantically looked for an off-switch.

"Get her!"

The henchmen charged at Kim, who flicked a switch on the ray. This turned the ray away from the hole and toward the henchmen.

"Okay. Who wants to be the first to find out if this death ray really works?"

"_Allow me."_

Kim shook her head. She hadn't heard that voice in so long. "It can't be."

"Oh, yes it can."

Before Kim stood Shego. The purple outfit was a little loose, but she could still move around."

"Shego?"

Dementor stared in shock. "Shego?"

"Don't wear it out."

"Where have you been?"

"Aw. Did you miss me?", Shego said in her inimitable mocking voice.

"I never miss." Kim assumed a fighting stance.

Shego did the same. "Begin."

Kim swung a kick at Shego, who deflected it. She countered with a leg sweep, but Kim jumped out of the way.

Shego lit up her hands and lunged at Kim. Kim dodged every swipe of her foe's hands.

"What happened, Shego? I thought you were loyal to Drakken."

"I am."

"So, what are you doing here?"

"Food's better over here."

Shego, again, leapt toward Kim, crashing into her and tumbling onto the floor. Kim, in trying to regain her bearings, grabbed onto the front of Shego's uniform. The material ripped away, revealing Shego's impressive cleavage. Needless to say, the predominately male population was driven to distraction.

Paying little attention to her wardrobe malfunction, Shego circled Kim. "By the way, I got a look at your new boy toy." Shego jerked her thumb toward the rock formation where Shay was last seen. "You finally dropped the dud and got yourself a stud. If I didn't hate you so much, I'd be proud of you."

"He's just filling in for Ron."

"You sure he's not filling in other things?"

This statement got the desired response from Kim, who, momentarily, forgot her training and was just swinging wildly at the brunette.

"Seriously, what a beefcake. You know, after I hand your ass to you, I might get a taste."

Kim charged at Shego, who flipped and climbed her way to the platform Dementor was standing on. She kicked the gun out of his hand and caught it, pointing it at him. Shego grimaced at the thought of a female Dementor. She glanced over at the leavings in the plastic tray.

"Was that a Famous Bowl?"

"Why, did you want some?"

Shego rolled her eyes before tucking the gun in her cleavage and flipped toward the rock formation where Kim last saw Shay.

"Shay, look out!"

"Hello there, handsome", Shego said as she walked behind the rock.

"And who might you be?", Shego said in her best "Shay" voice.

"Your destiny."

Kim approached the rock, anger in her eyes. "Get away from him, you-"

"Kim, stay back. Who knows what this psycho hottie can do to me?"

"Psycho? You've got your nerve!"

Shego started to grunt in male and female voices, simulating a fight. In reality, she was changing back into Shay's outfit.

"No, don't point that at me!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby." Shego held the gender gun out and pulled the trigger. The blue light enveloped her, altering her female figure. Her muscular form returned within moments, turning Shego into Shay.

"See you later, hot stuff." Shay put on his best girly voice before lighting up his hand in plasma. He was a little apprehensive, having never done this to himself. 'Don't worry. It's like ripping off a band-aid…probably.' Shay slashed himself across the abdomen, causing him to yell out.

Shay stumbled out from behind the rock. "Oh, man." He collapsed into Kim's arms.

"Shay, are you all right? I'm gonna waste that Shego."

"Don't bother. She's long gone."

"How sweet for the two of you. Unfortunately, you are too late to save Canada."

With a raspberry, the death ray conked out.

"What happened to this machine?"

Kim twirled a cable around her fingers. "It's not very easy to operate without this, you know."

"Curse you!" Dementor raised his arms and shouted to the heavens.

* * *

Kim and Shay sat back in the cargo plane. Kim examined the marks on Shay. "Damn that Shego."

"It's just a scratch. You worry too much."

"'Just a scratch'? She could've done much worse."

"Come on."

Kim sighed. "This is my fault."

"What?"

"I should've tried harder to stop you from coming along. I could've taken care of Dementor by myself."

"This is true."

"You're not even going to say that you should've stayed behind?"

Shay shrugged. "I can't help it if you're irresponsible with the lives of other people."

Kim glared at him. "Whatever." She slapped his scars, eliciting a loud yell from him. Kim covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, Shay. I didn't mean that." Kim blew on Shay's scars, rubbing the pain away.

Shay looked at Kim with a smile on his face. 'A guy could get used to this.'

* * *

Ron lied on the living room couch. As soon as school (and detention) let out, he was rushed to the hospital to get his leg looked at. The doctor examined it and determined that Ron would need to wear a cast for at least the next two weeks.

"Man, this tanks."

Rufus crawled up his master's leg and gave him a forlorn look. "Okay?"

"I could be better."

Ron adjusted himself to lower his leg.

"Two weeks with this thing."

* * *

"_So, Dementor stole my death ray?"_

Shay ran a finger along one of his scars and winced a little. "Yeah, and the gender gun."

"_You were able to get it back, right?"_

"The death ray was pretty heavy. Plus, Possible was watching."

"_I meant the gun."_

"I know. I got it." Shay twirled the weapon in his hand.

"_Well, put it someplace safe. I don't want it to fall into the wrong hands again."_

"I still can't believe she didn't make the connection." Shay chuckled. "So much for girls maturing faster than boys."

"_Speaking of boys, you broke the buffoon's leg?"_ Dravinsky sounded more surprised than pleased.

"Actually, the good people at Chiquita did most of the work."

"_Hmmm. Quite effective, shutting him out of at least one aspect of Possible's life."_

"Too bad it's only temporary. Still, I don't think I even need that much time."

* * *

Night rolled around and Ron was sleeping, woozy from the painkillers he had taken. His vision and senses were dulled to the point where he could barely feel anything.

His eyes opened somewhat at what he was almost sure was the window opening. He made out a figure in a cheerleading outfit.

"What are you doing?", Ron slurred out.

The figure placed a dainty finger on his lips, urging him to shush. The figure straddled Ron and removed the blankets that covered him.

"Hey, Kim, knock it off."

After a brief break in concentration, the figure started in on Ron's boxers. With its dainty fingers, the figure removed them as best as possible with the cast in the way.

"Mmmm", the figure cooed in what could only be a female voice.

The combination of early morning wood and nervousness at the intrusion gave Ron a throbbing boner, just what the figure had counted on.

Though it wasn't clear in the dark, there was a smile on the figure's face as she dove in, sucking on his member like a popsicle on a hot day.

"What are you…" Ron couldn't do much to stop the girl, who continued on her treat.

Ron moaned and grabbed onto the mattress, a good deal of consciousness having returned. His breaths grew shorter and shorter until he let out a lengthy groan.

The figure hadn't left his crotch and swallowed the deposit he made.

Ron laughed in surprise. With the exception of his missions with Kim, he had never experienced anything as exciting or as dangerous (his parents were asleep down the hall) as what just happened.

The figure made her way to the window. Ron caught a glimpse of a purple, orange and yellow skirt as the figure left.

"That was…new." With a smile on his face, Ron fell back to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Ron, a crutch under his arm, hobbled down the hall. Kim, carrying his books, walked alongside him. "KP, I had the weirdest dream last night."

"Oh. What was it about?"

"Well…", Ron started, but recanted with a wave of the hand. "Nah, it's too out there."

"Try me."

"It was in a zoo. Drakken was a penguin, Shego was an otter, Frugal Lucre was a crocodile, Senor Senior Junior was a snake, I was a sheep…"

Kim stared at the boy in great disbelief. "Ron, you haven't been overdoing the painkillers, have you?"

"Hey! I've been taking the recommended dosage."

"Right." Kim rolled her eyes slightly.

Ron took a breath. "That wasn't the only dream last night."

"This wasn't the one where I get my head cut off by a mirror, was it?"

"No, but I think you _were_ in it. I was in bed and some girl…" Ron searched for the words. "…sucked me off."

Kim stopped in her tracks. "Whoa. What?"

"It's a pretty common thing, fantasizing about a cheerleader."

"And how did you know she was a cheerleader?"

"She was wearing the same skirt like the squad wears."

Kim eyed Ron with some uncertainty. "Good thing that it was just a dream."

"Yeah, but it felt so real."

At that moment, Shay started down the hall in the opposite direction. His scars had mostly healed, but there was no reason to make Kim privy to that knowledge.

The moment Kim was close to him, Shay doubled over. "Aaaaaaah! My stomach!"

Kim folded her arms. "What is it? You eat a bad peach?"

"Ahhhh! Damn that Shego."

"Shego? I forgot all about her."

"Oh, yeah, I saw her yesterday when I stopped Professor Dementor."

"You went on a mission without me?"

Kim gestured toward Ron's broken leg. "Well, you weren't able to go."

"Well, it's good that you were able to handle him on your own."

The redhead bit her lip. "Actually, Shay was there, too."

"Shay went on the mission with you?"

"It was a one-time thing, believe me." Kim practically yelled out the last two words.

Shay doubled over in mock-pain. "First, Kim gets me injured, then tries to downplay my severe physical damage."

"More like severe brain damage. It was just a scratch. You're just a big baby."

Shay broke out of the role of victim and stopped Kim. "I'm many things, but I'm not a baby."

"What do you want from me?"

"What do you got?"

Kim charged away, frustrated at Shay. Ron followed her for a couple of steps before he stopped. "The way her eyes sparkled, maybe that was Shego in my room last night."

"Dreaming!", Shay fake-coughed. Much to his relief, Kim and Ron failed to notice it.

* * *

Miss Dravinsky stood over the copy machine in the teachers' lounge and watched as warm copies of a test slid out.

She wondered to herself how much longer Shay was to take with the scheme. Granted, she knew enough about physics to teach a full year, but she was uncomfortable with the many aspects of womanhood, not the least of which was the hygiene, the upkeep and…

"Hello, Miss Dravinsky."

The attention.

"Hello, Mister…um…"

"Barkin. Steve Barkin. Lovely day, isn't it?"

"I suppose." Miss Dravinsky didn't like the way this Barkin guy was staring at her. It was almost like he wanted something from her.

"Care to talk?"

"About what?"

"The weather, favorite books, whether you have any plans for this Friday."

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"I never said the word 'date', but if you insist…"

"Okay…" Miss Dravinsky sighed and braced herself. "Is there a Mrs. Barkin?", she asked, hoping to God that the answer was yes.

"Oh, no. I'm a lifelong bachelor. I get the sense that women are intimidated by me." Striking a pose, Barkin smiled at Dravinsky. "Are you intimidated by me?"

Blushing furiously, Dravinsky focused back on the copies. "Excuse me. I really need to get ready for my class."

"Don't worry, Miss D…okay, do you have a first name?"

"Actually, it's…" Miss Dravinsky was stuck. This didn't need to come up before and she couldn't blurt out Drew. Her mind cycled through several possible names, before hitting on one. "Dora."

"Oh, that's pretty."

"Yes, it is." 'Twas pretty enough for her departed aunt, in any case.

Barkin leaned in toward Dravinsky, a glint in his eye. "So, what time should I pick you up?"

Dravinsky hiccupped, as if pretending to throw up in her mouth…but, for all she knew, it could've been real.

The bell rang, which caused the substitute to breathe a sigh of relief. "Oh, what do you know? There's the bell. Have to be going!" Dravinsky didn't so much say the words to Barkin as she did vomit them out. She hurried out of the room, copies in hand.

Barkin shook his head. "Nothing like a woman in a hurry."

* * *

The cafeteria was abuzz, as usual, with chatter among the students. Kim sat at a table across from Monique, who stared at her friend with a good deal of bemusement.

"You wanna run that by me again?"

"Ron told me he had a dream about a girl in a cheerleading uniform giving him…oral pleasure."

Small titters started to come from the African-American girl. Seeing Kim's anguished expression caused her to hold them back. "And it wasn't you?"

"He wasn't sure."

"Did you want it to be?"

"Monique!"

Monique put her hands up in defense. "I'm just saying. Dreams are more powerful than we want to believe."

"What could it mean?"

"It could be a larger metaphor for something going on with Ron. The pressures of moving from high school to college and worrying that he might not be able to make it as smoothly as others…"

"Maybe…"

"…or he wants his princess to give him a happy ending."

"Ohhhhhh!" Kim buried her head in her hands.

"It's not a ridiculous theory."

"And could you lay off the 'princess' thing? Shay calls me that. So annoying." Kim allowed her mind to wander. She focused on what the trouble could be with Ron…but then, 'princess' drifted into her mind. Only two people call her that: Shay and Shego. Kim groaned.

"Don't let it get you down, Kim. Whatever's going on with Ron, it's nothing you can't take care of."

At that moment, Bonnie, followed closely by Tara, happened along.

"Oh, is Kim's lap dog in need of fixing?", Bonnie said in a mocking, 'poor baby' tone. "It's long overdue." Kim started daggers at the brunette. "Or maybe, he just needs a new leash."

Kim smirked a little. "Nah. He just needs a choke chain. You look about his size. Could I borrow yours?"

Bonnie narrowed her eyes at Kim's implication and, with a hair flip, stormed away. Behind her, Tara was suppressing laughter.

"You know, that girl's not as blonde as she looks."

Ron hobbled into the cafeteria. The need to put his books in his locker caused him to be late.

He couldn't even get three (hopped) steps without a crowd of students, mostly female, gathering around him.

Kim glanced toward the crowd of people. She couldn't quite make out who they were surrounding, though.

"I wonder where Ron is. He said he'd be right here after he put his books away."

Monique shrugged. "Maybe, someone in that crowd saw him."

"Maybe." Kim got up from her chair.

In the crowd, people couldn't help but fawn. It's not like students haven't had broken limbs before, but it wasn't every day that someone as invisible as Ron got one.

As a girl ran a hand along the cast, she glanced up at Ron. "How did your leg get broken?"

"Well…" What could Ron say? 'I slipped on a banana peel like a common cartoon character'? Not a chance. He cleared his throat. "…I'd been trying out for football and one of the…right guards tackled me, but he aimed too low and crack!" Ron clapped his hands suddenly for effect.

"Oh. Can I sign it?"

"Sure."

Kim parted through the crowd. "Excuse me. Have any of you seen…Ron?"

The girl had just put the finishing touches on her signature. Ron glanced up from it. "Hey, KP."

"Where have you been?"

"Right here."

Kim noticed some of the girls staring at the cast. Underclassmen, to be sure. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

The girls retreated. Kim helped Ron along. "KP, I was doing fine."

"I think those girls wanted more than to sign your cast."

"Oh, don't worry about that. They're just looking out for me."

A couple of the girls walk past a student reading a book.

"Can you believe that? A football injury and he still comes to school."

"I didn't even think he played for the football team."

The student removed the book from his face. It was Shay, who glanced toward Kim and Ron.

Shay was about to correct the girls, but stopped at seeing Kim's chastising gestures toward Ron. Maybe, this little lie would prove to be helpful.

At the lunch table, Ron withered under Kim's gaze. "Are you sure you're not jealous?"

"I don't know the meaning of the word."

Ron cleared his throat. "Jealous, noun. To experience feelings of envy over something owned by another."

"And now, you do." Monique smiled.

"Please don't help."

Shay started to laugh. After a few moments, the laugh took on a disturbingly super villainous quality.

"Ah, I miss that."

Shay jumped a little. Miss Dravinsky came up behind her.

"Laughing maniacally."

Shay reared back in surprise. "Wear a bell much?"

"Nice to see you too, Shego."

"Don't call me that! We shouldn't even be talking."

"Hey, I was on my way to the teacher's lounge. I can't help it if you're standing right there in the doorway." Miss Dravinsky glances toward Kim. "I was going to ask for a progress report, but it seems like things are progressing nicely."

"Is that all?"

"I suppose."

"Good. Now get lost."

"You worry too much, Shego. Besides, it's just a teacher talking to a student."

At the table, Monique stood up, hoping to separate her two friends. She glanced over at Shay and Miss Dravinsky.

"Say, Kim, you probably don't want to hear this now, but there's Shay."

Kim sighed. "More good news." She looked up and saw him talking to Miss Dravinsky. "That's weird."

"What?"

"I've been taking Dravinsky's class for the last week. Shay's not in it."

Monique shrugged. "Maybe, he takes another class with her."

Kim whipped out her Kimmunicator and turned it on. Wade's face appeared on the screen. "What's up, Kim?"

"Any chance you could look up Miss Dravinsky's classes?"

"Not a problem." Wade typed furiously on his keyboard. "And...done." A jpeg file appeared on the screen. As Kim studied it, a determined glare crossed her face.

"She doesn't have any other classes."


	15. Chapter 15

Kim exploded from her seat so quickly, it took a few seconds for Ron and Monique to register that she was no longer sitting there.

'What's Shay doing talking to Miss Dravinsky if he's not in her class?' was the prevailing thought in Kim's head as she charged after the new student.

"Well, this has been fun, but I need to prepare for class."

"Me, too", Shay said in a 'wink-wink' tone. Neither of them saw Kim coming as they took separate paths down the hallway.

Kim followed Shay, deciding that the substitute could wait.

* * *

Shay walked down the hall, a smile on his face. Kim snuck up on him, taking stealth positions behind lockers and garbage cans.

Shay took a look behind him. No one that he can see. He continued his trek…as did Kim.

He stopped suddenly. The smile on his face grew bigger.

Kim retained her position behind the locker. Shay did a little sneaking of his own, fast-walking toward the row of lockers. Kim didn't hear a sound. She took a glance.

"Boo."

Kim reared back.

"Not that I blame you, but why are you following me?"

"What were you doing talking to Miss Dravinsky?"

Shay shrugged. "What, I can't try for some extra credit?"

"Give it up, Shay. She only has one class and you're not in it."

"So, you looked up her schedule to check that I'm not in her class and now, you're confronting me about it. I think you're obsessed with me."

"What?"

"Think about it. You could be hanging out with your doofus boyfriend, but here you are."

"I'm not obsessed with you, number one and number two, he is not a doofus."

Shay folded his arms with a snort.

"Please, princess. The way he loses his pants all the time, what would you call it?" Before Kim could ask how he knew… "YouTube is something else, isn't it?"

"So, are you answering my question or what?"

"Hmmm. I'm leaning towards 'what' in this case."

"You think you can just come in here with your looks and your insults and act like you own the place?" Shay shrugged, as if to say, 'yeah'. "I don't know what your deal is, but I don't want anything to do with you."

Shay rolled his eyes impatiently as Kim continued to rant. He leaned in close to her and placed his hand on the back of her head.

"Are you listening to me?" Shay smashed his lips against Kim's, eliciting a number of groans. Shay pulled away, flicking his tongue against hers.

"You know, you're a lot cuter when you're not talking."

Shay walked away, leaving Kim to stare in shock at what just happened.

* * *

"No effing way."

"Come on, Bonnie. It'd be a really nice thing to do. Plus, he is a member of the squad."

Bonnie brushed it off with a wave of her hand. "Only through nepotism."

Tara frowned and grabbed Bonnie's arm, pulling her toward Ron.

"Tara, Bonnie, what brings you over here?"

"Well, Bonnie and I were wondering if we could sign your cast."

"Sure, ladies. Anything for you."

Ron rummaged through his pocket for a writing utensil. He smiled nervously at the cheerleaders. Tara smiled back.

Rufus popped out of Ron's other pocket, brandishing a marker. Bonnie recoiled at the suddenness of the rodent's appearance.

"Thanks, Rufus."

"Hnk. No problem."

Ron handed the marker to Tara who signed his knee. Tara handed it to Bonnie. As she looked for a good place to sign, Bonnie nodded her head.

Kim walked back into the cafeteria, trying to regain her composure. She glanced over at Ron…and what appeared to be Bonnie's head bobbing near his crotch.

Kim rushed toward the table, a crazed look in her eyes.

"Get away from his junk!"

Ron glanced up. "Kim!"

"Excuse me for living."

"You…are not."

Kim looked down at Ron's cast. On his thigh was a message: 'The only action you will ever get from me. -B'.

"I would ask what your damage is, but I have a few ideas."

Bonnie stomped off, again followed by Tara.

"Get well soon." Tara waved a little.

"Kim, where have you been?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

* * *

The students in Miss Dravinsky's class filed out of the room just after the bell rang. Kim, however, stayed behind.

The teacher gathered her papers together.

"Miss Dravinsky?"

She glanced up at Kim, who stared from her seat.

"Kimberly, is this about today's assignment?"

"Oh, no. I can work that out. It's just that I saw you talking to Shay today."

"Shay…and that would be?"

"He's new to this school…kind of like you." Miss Dravinsky's smile held steady, even though she started to worry on the inside. "During lunch, I noticed the two of you talking even though this is your only class and he's not in it."

"Miss Possible, I cannot imagine what you're driving at."

Kim scoffed. "I'll bet. The two of you are up to something. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but you are up to something."

"Do you know how many new students the average school system sees every year, or how many new teachers?"

"No, but I'm sure I can find out."

"You do that. Also, I'm sure you don't want to miss your next class. Be a shame for a girl like you to risk detention."

With a scowl, Kim backs out of the room, not taking her eyes off of Miss Dravinsky.

Miss Dravinsky collapses in her seat, wiping sweat away from her brow.

"Hey, Bonnie." A nasally voice emanated from the hall, one that drew the teacher's curiosity for a number of reasons.

Miss Dravinsky peeked her head out and saw two students. One was the girl who yelled at her as she drove home the other day. This was Bonnie.

The other was the stereotypical geek: unhip wardrobe, glasses, acne and just an air of social repulsiveness. In other words, Drew in high school.

Bonnie reacted to the nerd as if he were nuclear waste. "What?"

"Well, you don't seem to be dating anyone, at least, ever since Brick left for college, and I don't seem to be dating anyone, even though my mom assures me that I could be a catch for some girl-"

"Will you get to the point?"

"Well, I was wondering if you might like to accompany me on a date sometime."

Bonnie gave the boy the once-over, her withering gaze saying more than words ever could. However, that did not stop her from laughing loudly in his face.

The geek felt tears stinging at his eyes and he ran away, her laughter ringing in his ears.

Miss Dravinsky narrowed her eyes at Bonnie, unable to separate what she just witnessed from Drew's own high school experience.

Tears had been streaming from Bonnie's eyes, she was laughing so hard. She wiped them away, making her unable to see Miss Dravinsky in front of her.

"What is with you? Do you just not know how to look where you're going?" Bonnie's good mood was clearly a thing of the past.

"Miss, I saw what just happened. Don't you think you were a little hard on that young man?"

"Why is it even your business?"

"Well, he seems like a really nice boy. Why not give him a chance?"

Bonnie gave Miss Dravinsky a questioning look. 'Is she for real?', she thought to herself. 'She's probably been home schooled or worse…Amish.' "The reason is that guys like that, when they're not spilling drool over girls like me here, are at home leering at girls like me in far less clothing and spilling something that isn't drool. Maybe, that was your trip in school like, what, fifty years ago, but that's not for me."

"What makes you so convinced that they'll be that way forever? Most guys like him grow up to run businesses, make millions of dollars and, generally, rule the world." Losing herself, Miss Dravinsky raised her fist in triumph.

"Uh-huh." Bonnie was clearly not impressed.

"And then, there are girls like you. Pretty, entitled girls who walk across stages in schools all over the country every June to collect their diplomas, under the insane delusion that they have the world by the stones, only to find that their beauty and feelings of entitlement will land them in places they never even entertained in their darkest nightmares."

A glimmer of apprehension crossed Bonnie's face. "Is that supposed to scare me?"

"Why, no. Around this time next September, you'll have plenty of opportunities to be scared." The bell cut through the air, making Bonnie jump. "Enjoy the rest of the year.". Miss Dravinsky punctuated her statement with a confident smile. Bonnie scampered off.

"Hmmm. That felt really good."

* * *

Try as she may, Kim couldn't focus on her homework. The kiss from Shay had scrambled her brains pretty well. She didn't even tell Ron about it.

"Knock, knock." Kim glanced toward the door. Mrs. Dr. Possible appeared in the doorway.

"Mom."

"So, how goes it?"

"Not that good."

"Really?" Mrs. Dr. Possible took a seat on the edge of her daughter's bed. "What's the matter?"

"You know that guy who I switched bodies with last week?"

"Yeah." Mrs. Dr. Possible shook her head. "That was a crazy week."

"Well, he kissed me. I confronted him and he kissed me."

"That is unfortunate."

Kim's voice grew smaller. "It gets worse."

"Of course, it does."

Kim leaned in close. "I kind of liked it."

"Did you?"

"Yeah. The way his tongue swished around the inside of my mouth…I've never felt anything like it."

"Hmmm. Well, I'm happy for you, Kimmie."

"Really?"

"Yes. If a boy can make you feel that way, it must be something special. I wish the two of you well." Mrs. Dr. Possible walked toward the door. "You have figured out the best way to tell Ron, right?"

"No."

"I mean, he's done so much for you over the years, I just figured you owe it to him to let him down gently."

"But I love him."

"Oh. I thought you were playing tonsil hockey with the new kid."

"Mom!"

"Kim, you need to look within yourself and ask, 'who do I love?'."

"Mom, that's easy."

"Is it easy, or do you want it to be?" Mrs. Dr. Possible walked out of the room, but her question hung in the air. The worried look on Kim's face strongly suggested the latter.

* * *

Kim slept peacefully, a surprise given the events of the day. She convinced herself that the Shay situation was nothing but a speed bump.

As tended to happen, Kim's mind drifted in slumber. She found herself on a bed of roses. She took in the smell of them, enjoying it.

"Kim…"

She glanced in the direction of the voice. It was familiar, but far-off.

"Kim…"

"Hello?"

There was no one there, which greatly started to worry Kim. This wasn't like her regular dreams. For one thing, she usually had a bed of lilacs.

Kim squinted as a figure floated towards her. As it drew closer, Kim could make out familiar features. Freckles. A blonde cowlick. A goofy smile.

"Ron."

"Hey."

Ever since they started dating (and even a few years before that), a lot of Kim's dreams revolved around her and Ron in some odd, romantic way.

Ron fell beside Kim on the rose bed.

"Nice to see you."

"Nice to be seen." Ron reached behind Kim and unhooked her bra. He nuzzled her ear and whispered, "Close your eyes."

Kim did as she was told. She was fond of surprises of a caring nature like this.

She could feel a pair of hands knead her breasts like dough. She cooed at the sensation.

"That feels so good, Ron."

There was no response from the figure before her. She felt a head of hair brush her midriff. The figure took her panties in its teeth and pulled them off.

"Ron?"

Kim grew ever more concerned. Ron hadn't said anything in some time. Kim opened her eyes.

Shay stared her down. "I'm your boyfriend, now, Kimmie."

"What are you doooooooo-" Shay lightly ran a finger along the edge of Kim's love canal.

"Shhhhh. Just lie back and enjoy the ride."

"No. Ron was here."

"Really, can Ron make you feel this good?" Shay rubbed Kim with far more insistence. Kim started to moan.

"He could."

"Face it. You're just kidding yourself."

"I'm not kidding myself. Ron makes me feel good in ways you can't. Now, get your fingers out of there."

Shay put his hands up. Kim gasped. "Look, ma, no hands."

"You can't…" Shay started to thrust, rocking Kim. She gasped, which turned into a sustained moan.

"_Hey, save some for me."_

Kim looked as best as she could. "No."

Shego climbed onto the bed, clad in black underwear that made a nice contrast to her pale skin.

"I thought you'd never get here."

"What can I say? I like to make an entrance."

Kim's voice started to crack. "What are you doing?"

"Confronting you with the things you want most, but of course, you'll deny it because you're devoted to Stoppable."

Kim glanced toward Shego. "I don't want you…" She glared up at Shay. "…and I certainly don't want you."

"Your eyes say 'no', but my mouth says 'yes'."

Shego stripped down to her bare essentials, smiling as she positioned her crotch over Kim's face.

"Let me up."

"Sorry, Princess. Looks like you'll have to eat your way out."

"No."

Shay kissed his way up Shego's back, which caused the brunette to giggle girlishly.

"You know how to treat a girl."

"I know my way around", Shay said in-between kisses. He pulled himself out of Kim and kissed the nape of Shego's neck. He reached around and grabbed Shego's breasts, tweaking the nipples.

Shego started to coo. "Mmmmm. That feels good."

"How good?" Shay continued to play with her hooters.

"Good enough to…" Shego moaned as she unloaded onto Kim's face.

Shego looked down at Kim. "I bet you thought we forgot about you."

Shay crawled around opposite Shego and glanced down. "Not even close, Princess."

Shego and Shay took turns lapping at Kim's face.

* * *

Kim woke up with a start. She felt her face. Wet, but from the sweat that was pouring upon it.

"Oh, man. What a nightmare."

Kim idly set her hands down on her bed sheets. She felt a slosh as her fingers touched blanket.

"Oh, gross!"


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: You know, with all the 'Story Alerts' and 'Favorite Story' notices that choke up my inbox, I figured that some of these people might be interested in, I don't know…_**reviewing**_ the story. Lord knows where I got a crazy notion like that, right?

A good chunk of this chapter has been on my hard drive for a while, but then, I was inspired to take it in another direction. You never know when or how the muse will strike.

* * *

As Kim stuffed her bedding into the washing machine, she thought about what her mother said…as well as the meaning of the dream. Did she really have a thing for Shay? Did she really have a thing for Shego? How strange is it that the both of them called her 'Princess'?

Kim didn't have time to weigh these factors. She had to get the amount of detergent just right. She certainly didn't want a repeat of that one time when she was six and her little girl bladder could not handle the lemonade she ingested one summery day. It's a wonder her parents found her amongst the suds.

* * *

Tara and Bonnie walked down the halls. "I'm just saying you should think it over is all."

"No flipping way, Tara. I'm not getting a blonde streak in my hair."

"It'd look cool", the blonde insisted perkily.

"You keep telling me that."

"Think about it."

Bonnie shook her head. "There's nothing to think about."

"_Matthews! Rockwaller!"_

The two girls turned around at hearing the distinctive tones of…

"Mr. Barkin!", they chorused.

"I trust you two are on your way to homeroom?"

"Absolutely, Mr. B", Tara said with a nod.

Just as the burly educator walked off, Tara's cell phone began to ring. She picked it up.

"Hello. Hey. Oh. That sounds interesting. All right. Catch you later." Tara hung up.

"Who is that?"

"Who is whom?"

Bonnie put her hands on Tara's shoulders, staring her in the face. "Save the blonde stuff for someone who cares. Who just called you?"

"Maybe, I have a secret admirer."

"A secret admirer? With your cell number?"

"It's the internet age. It's hard to hide from people these days."

Tara walked off, a sly smile developing on her face. Bonnie took off after her. "I'm getting a straight answer out of you."

* * *

Kim shuffled down the hall, her books huddled to her chest. To look at her, she hardly seemed the peppy young woman bursting with can-do spirit that was so familiar to any who looked at her.

Ron hobbled up to her, his elated smile a marked contrast to the redhead. "Hey, KP."

She said nothing in response.

"Had good dreams last night. Nothing too freaky. How about you?"

Kim's only response was a mere squeak.

"Kim, why are you imitating an old bedspring?"

Again, Kim was silent.

"Kim…" She just walked off, a tear falling from her face.

Ron stared, confused at what just happened.

* * *

Shay stood up from the drinking fountain as he saw Kim pass him.

"Hey", he called to her. She didn't stop or say anything in return. "So…you feeling up to a private study session. French is kicking my ass and I was wondering if I could study a different tongue." Shay waggled his own tongue and winked at Kim.

"Get away from me", Kim demanded through clenched teeth. Such was her emotions that she could barely look Shay in the eye.

"Okay, if you're not up to the challenge-" Shay couldn't even complete his thought as he was suddenly shoved against the wall. "Right here? You are something else, Kimmie."

"Listen to me and listen good: I don't know what it is about you, but you are the most frustrating person I've ever known. Maybe, you really believe the crap that comes out of your mouth and maybe, you don't, but I'm through. You stay away from me or I drop you like a bad habit."

"You'd really risk expulsion beating up li'l ol' me?"

"Absolutely." Kim stared Shay in the eyes, pressing her nose against his. "Now, leave…me…alone."

Kim stormed down the hall.

Shay dusted himself off and watched her leave. "Someone's Aunt Flo is in town."

* * *

Ron glumly stood in the hallway. Monique, a concerned look on her face, faced him. "Mo, I know you told me not to worry, but I think there's something really wrong with Kim."

"What do you mean, wrong?"

"I greeted her this morning and she was like a zombie."

"Like a zombie", Monique replied, skeptically.

"Yeah. I don't know. It's like she's not herself. She's not the girl I've known forever."

"She must have a lot on her mind."

Ron leaned against a locker. "I thought things were going so well. Kim and I were happy together, then Shay comes along…" Ron glanced up, like a thought just came to him. "Shay. Things were fine before he came along." Ron tightened his hand into a fist…a gesture that Monique noticed right away.

"Hold on. Even if Shay has anything to do with Kim, kicking that well-toned ass isn't going to solve anything."

"Maybe not, but he and I need to talk about this." Ron walked off as best as he could, but Monique threw a hand onto his shoulder.

"Ron, you _do _mean talk, right?"

"Of course." Ron gave the girl a reassuring smile. As soon as she left, Ron's face darkened. 'Sure, I mean talk. Gonna talk my fist into his mouth.'

* * *

Taking a cautionary glance both ways, Miss Dravinsky headed down the hallway. At that moment, the door to the faculty lounge opened and Mr. Barkin emerged. "Miss Dravinsky?"

The woman breathed out an annoyed sigh. "Yes, Mr. Barkin."

"Please. Call me Steve."

"I desperately need to get to class. Young minds don't mold themselves."

"This will only take a second."

Miss Dravinsky stopped and stared impatiently.

"I was just going over your resume. Go City University, Upperton U…quite impressive."

She shrugged. "Well, you know-"

"Or at least it would be if these places had ever heard of you."

Miss Dravinsky's eye started to twitch.

"That's a pretty big red flag, Dora."

"That's nothing. I mean, who hasn't fudged a detail or two on their resume?"

"The PTA could easily make your life a nightmare if they ever got wind of this. Really, though, I'm the only one who knows about this…and it can remain that way."

Miss Dravinsky stared incredulously. "Are you blackmailing me?"

"Not to put too fine a point on it, but yes."

"You are a snake", she hissed.

"And you are in a terrific bind, unless…"

"What?"

"There's a lovely bistro downtown. Chez Quis. I'd appreciate your company there at 1900."

"You can't be serious."

"Maybe, the PTA would like to find out how serious I am." Barkin walked off. He turned again. "And wear something nice. It's a crime to keep a body like that under wraps."

* * *

Ron stomped down the hall, mad enough to kill. Rufus popped out of Ron's pants pocket, a worried look on his face. "Bad idea."

"Sorry, Rufus. I'm too upset to listen to reason."

Ron turned a corner and found Shay exiting a classroom. Ron quickened his stride as the classmates dispersed.

Shay started to walk off when he felt Ron's hand on his shoulder. "What do you want?"

"To talk about Kim."

"Fine." Shay folded his arms. "What do you want to know?"

"Whatever you're doing to Kim, I want it to stop."

Shay cast a glance down at Ron's cast. "And what do you intend to do if I don't 'stop'?"

Ron set his crutch aside. He groaned at how painful it was to stand without it.

"You know, you're gonna put more pressure on that leg. You'll be wearing that cast 'til graduation."

Ron smiled determinedly. "I think it'll be worth it." Ron lunged at Shay, knocking the new guy off of his feet. Ron landed a few punches in Shay's stomach before the brunette flipped him over.

Shay turned around and as he watched Ron struggle to his good foot, he thought to himself, 'Whoa. Sidekick isn't such a throw rag, after all.' He laughed a little as he rose to his feet. "Is that all you got?"

"Not really." Ron groaned stepping on his bum leg. "Aggggh! Rufus, crutch me." The mole rat slipped out of Ron's pocket and pushed the crutch over to him.

Shay shook his head. "I don't like a fair fight, but even I have my limits."

"What, afraid of hitting a guy with a bad leg?"

"I'm not afraid."

"Good." Ron beckoned Shay with the 'come on' gesture. Shay charged at Ron, who closed his eyes. Not letting go of the crutch, he started to run. Ron's eyes glowed a light blue as he concentrated until he found himself running on air. The pain was unbearable as his bad foot ran across the row of lockers. Shay, momentarily distracted by this unexpected event, just stared in surprise.

Ron had counted on this and lunged at him, delivering a punch to the eye. Ron set down onto the ground, holding onto the crutch for leverage. Shay let out a low growl as he charged Ron.

"What's going on out here?" Mr. Barkin ran up to the two students, an angry glint in his eyes.

Shay smirked a little. "I was just on my way to class when Ron jumped me."

The educator stared hard at Ron. He turned back to Shay. "This Ron? It wasn't some _other_ Ron?"

"No, sir. It was Ron Stoppable." Shay said the name deliberately.

Barkin raised an eyebrow; he was truly surprised that Ron started the fight, much less knew how to fight. He'd long felt the young man to be something of a slacker hiding behind his more capable friend. "Well, Stoppable, this is a week's detention for you, not to mention possible suspension."

"I understand." Ron hobbled down the hall.

"And Lowe, get to class." Shay stomped off, thinking to himself, 'I'm going to enjoy crushing you, Stoppable'.

A small smile formed on Barkin's lips as he saw Ron turn a corner. 'Maybe, he's not such a doily boy, after all', he thought to himself.

* * *

Once again, Ron and Monique conversed in the hall, the big difference being how livid the young woman was as she spoke. "What were you thinking?"

Ron shrugged. "I didn't have a choice, Mo."

"You said you'd talk to Shay."

"I did, only instead of words, I used fists."

Kim turned a corner and stomped toward Ron. "What do you think Kim's gonna say about this?"

"Don't worry. I'll tell KP when the time is right." Ron glanced at Monique's uneasy expression. A lifetime of TV watching clued him in to what was going on. "And now's the time." He turned around. "What's up?"

"You really beat up Shay?"

"Well, he got in some punches, but-"

Kim pushed against Ron. "What were you thinking?"

"The way he was acting, he had it coming."

"Did it not occur to you that I can fight my own battles?"

"I know that, but-"

"And you could be expelled. Didn't you think about what that could do to your grades?"

"Sure, I did…kind of…a little."

Sensing that bloodshed was imminent, Monique interjected. "You know what you two need? Some R and R. Rest and relaxation's the best thing for a relationship."

"Ron, how can we graduate if you're suspended for fighting?"

"It's no problem. Besides, I don't think that Shay's gonna bother you anymore."

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

Kim and Ron stared at each other for a few moments, neither saying a word.

Kim started to move her lips to speak. "Ron…you're my best friend."

"Thanks, KP."

"And you always will be."

"That sounds good." Ron breathed a sigh of relief. Monique, on the other hand, got a worried look, almost as if she knew where Kim was going with her words.

"But I can't help but think that we rushed into the whole-girlfriend-boyfriend thing too soon."

"What?"

"What?"

Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket. "Whah?"

"What are you saying?"

"I think we should take some time off…as boyfriend and girlfriend."

Ron's voice dropped to a squeak. "You're breaking up with me?"

"I don't want to."

"Then don't."

"I just need some time to sort things out. I never wanted to hurt you."

"KP…" Ron reached his hand out to caress Kim's cheek, but she broke away.

Tears streaming down her face, Kim ran off. Ron stood agape, like his heart was ripped from his chest.

"_Okay, let me get this straight: the buffoon beat you up?"_

* * *

Shay gathered his thoughts for a few moments…another way of saying, 'I need a good excuse'. "He got lucky. That's all."

"Well, that's good to know." Dravinsky rolled her eyes a little.

"So, what are you up to, tonight?

"Well, I…humharuh."

"You what?"

"I have a date."

"You have a date?"

"With Barkin. He practically blackmailed me into it."

Shay grabbed his stomach. He hadn't laughed so hard since Dravinsky's conversion to womanhood.

"I'm so glad you're enjoying this."

"How can I not? Barkin blackmails you into a date. And I thought we were devious."

Dravinsky held two dresses in front of her as she cradled the phone against her ear. "I can't understand why this plan is taking so much time. Why haven't you wooed Possible?"

"Nuts this tough take time to crack, but I think I'm wearing her down. She couldn't even look me in the eye today."

"That's wearing her down?"

"She's gotta be hiding something, like feelings for me."

"Well, don't break her too much. I want to be there when she collapses."

"You'll have a front-row seat. I've got some ideas."

"What do you have in mind?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

"Drew…"

"Yes?"

"Is there anything you need advice with? Make-up, perfume, the right time to mace the guy…?"

"Trust me, Shego. I have everything I need for this fool."

"Good. Oh, and one more thing…I get the feeling you're gonna thank me for getting that Brazilian wax."

Dravinsky slammed the phone down and gave herself a glance in the mirror. She exhaled and murmured, "For the plan. For the plan. For the plan…"


	17. Chapter 17

Sorry it took so long for this chapter. There is a very good explanation for that: I am incredibly lazy. Hope you like.

* * *

"Well, don't you look nice?" It was a rare occurrence when Steve Barkin smiled for reasons having nothing to do with whipping students into shape. Getting a glance at a dolled-up Dora Dravinsky was definitely worth a smile.

Her strapless blue dress showed off her bountiful cleavage and legs that went on for days. In short, she was dressed to kill.

"Thank you." Barkin offered his arm, as if to say, 'shall we?'. Dravinsky rolled her eyes and entered the restaurant, her arm hooked around his.

* * *

"So, tell me about yourself."

Dravinsky choked a little on her water. "What is there to tell?"

"I don't know. I mean, do you even have a past or are you from another planet?"

"Well…" Dora thought for a moment. Of course, she couldn't tell him the truth. She took a breath. "I was home schooled pretty much my whole life. I was an only child, so I wanted nothing more than to spend time with other children. I read quite a bit, so I gained a lot of knowledge and I was eager to share it with the world. Teaching at Go City University sounds much better than 'online correspondence course'."

"I'm sorry, Dora. I had no idea."

"You didn't, but that's okay. I'd just like to continue molding young minds."

"I've no problem with that."

A waiter approached the table, notepad and pencil at the ready. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes. I'll have the T-bone steak, well-done, with a baked potato."

"Very well." The waiter turned to Dora. The young man was momentarily struck by her beauty, mainly her bottomless cleavage. "And what can I get you, Miss?"

Dora noticed the glassy expression on the waiter's face. 'What is he staring at?'. She followed his eye line. She smiled a devious smirk, the kind she hadn't gotten to exercise much since switching genders.

"Well, I would like-" Dora glanced toward Steve. Another smirk. May as well go nuts. She wasn't paying for it. "-a T-bone steak, medium rare, scalloped potatoes, lobster bisque, Caesar salad and some Garlic bread."

Barkin and the waiter stared in shock.

"And could you put a rush on that, sweetie?" Dora giggled as she handed the waiter her menu.

"Certainly." The waiter stumbled off.

Dora glanced toward Steve, who was still in awe. "Is there a problem, Steve?"

"Well, it's just that I've never seen such an appetite on a beautiful woman."

Dora couldn't help but allow another smirk to cross her lips. "Oh, I'm just full of surprises."

* * *

Shay slung the strap of his backpack over his shoulder. He cast a glance at the other students. He couldn't help but pity them in a way. They'd go off to boring colleges and get boring, clock-punching jobs. He snorted. "Idiots", he said to no one and every one.

At the other end of the hall stood Kim. She noticed Shay and ran up to him, every bit of her overcome with girlish glee.

"Um, hi, Shay."

He met her gaze, pretending he didn't see her. "What? Oh, hi, Kim."

"You know, I've been doing some thinking."

"About what?"

"Us."

Shay's eyes widened. Was she serious? Had he cracked Possible's exterior? "Oh, so you dropped the nottie and you want the hottie?"

"You could put it like that, yeah."

Shay swaggered toward her, getting as close as physics would allow. "Well, I just wanted to say something to you."

"Yeah?" Kim had no desire to mask her enthusiasm.

"Yeah. Something I've wanted to say from the moment I got here."

"I can't wait to hear it."

Shay started to speak, barely hearing Kim's simultaneous words. "I'm just not that into you."

"-love to be your girl…say what, now?"

"Yeah, you're too loyal to that buffoon. It was pretty stupid to change that."

"But that's the best part. I broke it off with Ron."

"Whoa. Really?"

"Yeah."

"He's gotta be hurting."

Kim waved a hand. "Psshh. Don't worry. It's Ron. There's nothing he can't handle."

* * *

Ron sat on a stall in the men's room. He'd been staring longingly at a picture of Kim for twenty minutes…and crying his eyes out for just as long.

* * *

"Yeah. He's gonna be fine. Now, about us…"

"Whoa. Time out. 'Us'? I really don't think it would work out."

"Why not?"

Shay took a deep breath. "Well, first of all, you're way too high-strung. You crowd me and I need my own space. And then there was that mission where I nearly got killed by that super-hottie Shego." Kim seethed at the mention of her disappeared nemesis.

"You're the one who wanted to go along!"

"Regardless, there's no there there. You know what I mean?" Shay shrugged. "It's not me. It's you."

Kim stared in open-mouthed shock.

"I knew you'd understand. Later, or not." Shay strutted off, leaving a silent Kim.

* * *

Within moments of its happening, the school was abuzz about Kim getting dumped by Shay. The girls who saw Kim facilitated between pity, at losing such a hunk, schaudenfreude, at getting tossed aside as casually as she dumped Ron and hope, that Shay might look their way.

Amidst the cafeteria, Monique sat next to Kim, offering the sulking redhead a reassuring pat on the back. "Don't worry, girl. We all have our problems with guys."

"I don't get it. Am I just cursed?"

"That's crazy talk, and you know it."

"I don't know what I know. I dumped Ron to go for Shay, then he just dumps me."

"Well, have you talked to Ron?"

"Yeah, but he's still broken up about it. The night we got together, we promised that, even if the dating thing didn't work out, we'd still be friends. I get the feeling I sunk that, too."

Monique shrugged. "Maybe, you just need time."

"Maybe. It's a good thing that there haven't been any missions. That'd be a little awkweird."

"Kim, I've been wanting to talk to you about that. I don't think that word's catching on like you seem to want it to."

"What, awkweird?"

"Yeah. It doesn't sound right. Like it's the word version of a square peg someone's trying to stick in a round hole."

Kim pouted a little. 'I think it's a pretty good word', she thought.

"Anyway, you shouldn't let this get you down. You're Kim Possible, and, in case I forgot at some point, you can do anything."

Kim nodded. "You're right."

"Of course I am. Just keep that head up." Monique glanced around the lunch room. "Where is Shay, anyway?"

* * *

Shay peeked inside of Miss Dravinsky's classroom. The teacher sat at her desk, reading a fashion magazine purloined from one of her students.

Shay knocked on the doorframe. Dora hurriedly put the magazine away before she got a good look at her visitor. "Oh. Hello, Shego."

"Hey. So…"

"So…"

The student pulled up a chair. "Spill, girlfriend!"

"Spill what?"

"How'd the date go?"

Dora harumphed. "A woman never kisses and tells."

"So he kissed you?"

"No."

"You kissed him?"

"Nnnnnngh!"

"You slut! I'm so proud of you."

"You know, Shego, it's funny. I got so many looks last night from guys and a couple of girls." Dora leapt out of her chair. "I've been chasing power for so long and I never realized…womanhood _is_ power." She took a look at herself. "Who needs a doomsday device when I've got these puppies?" Dora gleefully hefted her breasts.

"Interesting. So you're giving up on taking over the world?"

"With a body like this, people might _give_ me the world. And what about you? Maybe my understanding of gossip isn't what it used to be, but from what I've been hearing, you dumped Possible."

"That is true."

"Why? The whole point was for you to get her to fall in love with you."

Shay started to pace. "Say that Possible is a fly and she finds herself attracted to a pile of trash."

"You're a pile of trash?"

Shay's hand lit up in green flame. "First metaphor that came to mind. Do not interrupt." Dora zipped her lips. "The fly thinks she can resist the trash, but she's just not strong enough. After a while, the fly's resolve crumbles and she can't help but roll around in the trash. She's not thinking clearly. She's in love with the trash…and that's the perfect moment to rip the fly's wings off."

"Hmmm. Very graphic."

"You should've seen Possible's face. You could've knocked her over with a feather."

"I wish I had. You're sure this a good idea?"

Shay smiled at Dora. "Don't you trust me?"

* * *

Kim strolled onto the gymnasium, her head held high. She refused to let this situation get her down, even though it was still tearing her up inside.

The other cheerleaders were already in the gym, busying themselves with texting on their phones…and in some cases, they were texting each other.

Kim grabbed a pair of pom-poms. "Okay, ladies, I hope you're ready for this next routine, because-"

"Time out, K."

"What is it, Bonnie?"

"Well, some of the girls and I talked it over and we don't know if you're emotionally equipped to lead the squad."

Kim folded her arms. "Some of the girls, or you?"

"Does it matter? Getting dumped - and by such a slice of beefcake - can be pretty damaging."

"And yet, you find a way to soldier on despite your issues."

"Hey. I'm not the girl who let not one, but two guys slip away in the same day. Must be a record. Even if one of the guys was Stoppable, that's pathetic."

Whatever response Kim wanted to offer Bonnie died in her throat with that insult. Tears welling up in Kim's eyes, the redhead ran off.

Tara stood up and glared at Bonnie before taking off after Kim.

* * *

Kim had run to a nearby stairwell, hoping that no one saw her like this. Footsteps seemed to draw closer. Kim wiped her eyes as best as she could, even though they were still a little red.

It was Tara. "We can't have much of a practice without our captain."

"I guess not."

"Don't worry about Bonnie. You know how she can be. Deep down inside, there's a good person. She doesn't show it very much, but it's there."

"Tara, I don't get it. You're one of the sweetest, nicest girls at this school. Why do you hang out with Bonnie?"

The perky blonde shrugged. "To be seen. People notice me for this…", she said, showing her flowing locks. "…but when I have something to say, they just assume I'm some dumb blonde. People, they listen to Bonnie. They may not like what she has to say, but they do listen."

"Tara, you don't need Bonnie to be heard. All you need is to find the right person to listen and people will want to hear you."

"Thanks, Kim. Are you feeling better?"

"Surprisingly, I am." Kim stood to her feet.

"Like I said, Bonnie's not so bad."

* * *

Bonnie stood in front of the girls, twirling her hair and looking coy. "Of course, I can juggle two guys. I can do anything", she rasped in a mocking-cutesy voice.

Kim and Tara walked back in to the sounds of laughter.

"What's so funny?"

Bonnie and the rest of the squad turned toward Kim, uneasy about answering her question.

"Just working on a stand-up routine."

The girls didn't say anything, but their stifled laughter said enough.

Kim glared at Bonnie; the kind of glare that said 'it's not easy doing stand-up if you're in a wheelchair'. As if to act on the implication, Kim leapt on Bonnie and rained blows on the brunette's face.

The other girls stood in shock…which lasted for all of five seconds before Crystal whipped out her phone and recorded the brawl. Before long, Marcella followed suit. Hope, Liz and Jessica brought their phones out as well.

Bonnie, meanwhile, had been itching to throw a punch, but Kim's constant barrage of hits meant that she could only block the attack, not launch one of her own.

Tara pulled Kim off of Bonnie and dragged her away. Bonnie stood to her feet and ran at Kim, a scream in her throat and a fist drawn.

Tara was quick enough to pull Kim away from the force of Bonnie's swing.

Bonnie landed uneasily on her feet, holding herself up with her hands. "What are you doing?"

Tara said nothing, admonishing Bonnie with a 'shame on you' look. She sat Kim on the floor, then stomped toward the other girls, who quickly pocketed their phones. "Were any of you going to stop it?"

None of the girls responded, choosing instead to look away guiltily.

"Whatever. I'm taking Bonnie home." Tara took Bonnie by the hand and walked toward the exit.

Unseen by Kim or the departing girls, Liz, Hope, Crystal and Jessica slipped Marcella ten dollars each. The girls, having heard of Kim's romantic misfortune took wagers on how the cheer practice would go. Somehow, Marcella knew that Kim was going to unleash hell on Bonnie.

* * *

Tara was elated that she'd gotten her license over the summer. The freedom she felt behind the wheel was beyond description.

Granted, she was borrowing her brother's car as opposed to driving her own, but it still felt like a dream.

Her passenger, on the other hand, didn't feel quite as happy. Bonnie scowled as she held a makeshift icepack against her eye. "The nerve of that Possible. Punching me…"

"To be fair, you…kind of had it coming."

Bonnie angrily removed the icepack, revealing purple bruising surrounding her eye. "I had this coming?"

"Well, yeah. You're always making fun of her and Ron and insulting them, yet they take the high road." Bonnie snorted. "And then there's the jealousy. The way you're always sniping at Kim, there's talk that you…secretly want to do it with her."

"What?"

"Better you hear it from me than someone else, especially someone on the squad. I don't think they'd be as polite about it."

"Whatever. I just want to go…well, not home, but…shit, just keep driving."

"Bonnie, you may not realize this, but you have a good life."

"Is this the part when you show me what Middleton would be like if I didn't exist?"

Tara laughed. "No, I mean it. You're popular, you're beautiful, you've got a bright future ahead. The future's looking brighter every day." Tara stole a glance at the glove compartment.

Bonnie rolled her eyes…and pretended not to hear her friend refer to her as beautiful. "Well, excuse me if I haven't been blessed with your blonde powers of optimism and flightiness, but the future's bright when this place isn't in it. The day after I graduate, I'm traveling the world. New York, Paris, Milan, Fresno. I'll be the hottest thing the world's ever seen."

Tara stopped at a stop sign. "Whatever you say, Bonnie."

"Got that right; whatever _I_ say."

As if the forces of karma were eavesdropping on this conversation, a truck slammed right into the car, causing it to turn over a good three times. The car landed on its wheels on the sidewalk, displacing two parking meters.

Bonnie groaned, barely able to move. Tara, having absorbed most of the hit, was bleeding from her head. She drifted in and out of consciousness, her vision blurry.

On the street, witnesses would later tell police, a bright flash burst from the inside of the car, as if someone were taking a picture.


	18. Chapter 18

Tara lied in bed, hooked up to all manner of machinery. The steady beeping made its visitors uneasy, as did any contact with a hospital.

Bonnie sat at her beside, bandages along her arms and head. She glanced down at the blonde, a piteous look on her face.

"How could you be so reckless?" Bonnie leaned over and kissed Tara's forehead. The brunette grabbed a pair of crutches and hobbled out of the room, careful not to bump the cast on her foot.

* * *

In the hallway, Bonnie bumped into Mrs. Dr. Possible, who had been checking over a clipboard.

"Excuse me…Bonnie!"

The brunette gave a slight wave. "Hello, Dr. Possible."

"I'd heard about the accident. How are you?" The red-haired doctor was no fan of Bonnie, but she was duty bound to treat all of Middleton General's patients with respect and care.

"I'm fine."

"And Tara?"

"In a coma. Who knows if she'll come out of it?"

"You shouldn't lose hope. If a person's will is strong enough, that can help them out of it."

"Dr. Possible, if a girl has done something wrong, surely there's a way to right her wrongs?"

"Of course there is, if she really wanted to."

Bonnie smiled. "That's good to know. Thank you."

"I hope you heal quickly."

"Me too." Bonnie hobbled off. Mrs. Dr. Possible glanced back at her. Could that really have been the cruel girl her daughter so often griped about?

* * *

Kim rubbed the back of her neck. It was filled with tension for the last day. Getting dumped by Shay and her subsequent flip-out on Bonnie had stressed her out quite a bit, and getting read the riot act by her parents didn't help. News of a mission was just the thing to set her back on track.

Duff Killigan thought that he could level Yellowstone for a driving range. The smile on Kim's face suggested that he thought wrong.

Kim sighed. She couldn't believe how messed up things were. She vowed that Shay would get such a piece of her mind when she saw him again.

* * *

Ron hobbled down the hallway. It'd been an interesting weekend for him, with news that his cast could come off in a few days being the undisputed highlight.

From the other end of the hall, he spotted Bonnie hobbling toward him. Even though he knew of her accident, he braced himself for whatever snide remark she had waiting in the chamber…which made what happened next all the more off-putting.

"Hi, Ron. Is your leg feeling better?", she said with a warm smile.

"I guess." Ron wasn't sure what to make of the comment, coming from Bonnie as it did. Still, he shrugged. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Never better." He motioned to her cast. "Oh, that. Yeah, it's a bummer, but I think that the accident was kind of a good thing."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, Tara's brother's car got totaled, but she and I survived. It made me appreciate life and it made me realize how I've been wasting it." Bonnie put a hand on Ron's shoulder. "I'm sorry I've been so horrible to you all these years. You're a great guy and any girl would be lucky to have you."

Ron stared at Bonnie. Was this some over-elaborate trick or was she truly sincere? With rare exceptions, he could see the good in everyone. He felt that Bonnie meant every word that she said. "Bonnie, you've been pretty mean to me and Kim, but I figured that that came from a bad place, not because you really hated us."

"I could never hate you, Ron."

"You sound really sorry. Bonnie, I forgive you."

Bonnie threw her arms around Ron and hugged him. "Thank you."

Ron gave her back an uneasy but heartfelt pat.

"Where's Kim? I want to apologize to her."

"I don't know. I haven't seen her since Friday. She was pretty broken up after Shay dumped her."

Bonnie broke away. "What could she see in a guy like him? It's all surface."

"No offense, but I seem to recall you liking him a little."

"Just a phase. Honestly, I'd never be swayed by a flashy guy like Shay." Bonnie subtly rubbed against Ron. "I'm really more into the down-to-earth guys. Guys who have freckles and wear red jerseys."

Ron let out a nervous laugh. "Really. That sounds pretty specific."

Bonnie smiled coquettishly. "Well, I hope we can talk more later. Bye, Ron." She trotted off, leaving a surprised Ron behind.

* * *

Kim scoured her homeroom. All the familiar faces minus one. Shay wasn't in his desk. She scowled. 'Not man enough to take his lumps, huh?'

"…and so, this assignment will constitute one-quarter of your grade for this semester, so don't any of you think you can slack off…"

Kim put up a history book as a screen and whipped out her Kimmunicator. She put an earpiece in her ear and connected it to the device.

Wade's smiling face filled the tiny screen. "Hey, Kim. What's up?"

"Can't talk too much", she said in a loud whisper. "I need you to locate Tyler Shayden Lowe."

"The new guy at your school? I'm pretty sure that constitutes some kind of stalking-"

The glare on Kim's face told the genius that ethics were not a current concern.

"Okay. One search on the way." Kim grasped the device impatiently. "Sorry, Kim."

"'Sorry, Kim', I've found him, or 'Sorry, Kim', I have bad news?"

Wade bit his lip nervously. "The second one?"

"What?"

"I couldn't find him. Either he's underground or he just vanished into thin air."

"Don't they have cameras underground?"

"Too much interference."

A shadow cast over Kim. "Possible, I hope my lecture isn't interrupting your conversation."

"Mr. Barkin. It's just that Shay is missing and I was hoping to find him."

"If a student is absent, that's something best left to the administration, not the students."

"But I-"

Barkin leaned in close, practically nose-to-nose with Kim. "Or maybe you'd like this discussion to continue in detention."

"No."

"Good." Kim sunk in her seat as Barkin walked back to his desk.

* * *

Kim took a glance around the cafeteria. Shay was nowhere to be found. She banged on the table.

Monique set a tray down a couple of seats over. "Kim, I'm pretty sure that that table didn't do anything to you."

"Mon, I'm not in the mood."

"Well, maybe you'll be in the mood for this: get over it! This moody chick act is tired and I'm tired of it."

Kim snorted. "Too bad. I've lost Shay and I've lost Ron."

"You know, Kim, there's an old saying: 'don't try to do two things at once, because you won't do justice to either'."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I never said that. You can mope about losing your man, but it can only be one man. The question is, will it be the right man?"

* * *

Ron was surprised that Bonnie invited him to sit with her, but she seemed to really enjoy his company.

Bonnie was crouched on the floor, a jar of white-out in her hand. She painted over her original message - 'The only action you will ever get from me'.

"Bonnie, you don't have to do that."

"No, but I want to do it." She blew on the white-out before getting back into her chair.

"I can't believe this, Bonnie. It's like you're a different person."

"Well, you can't hold onto grudges forever." Bonnie glanced down at her handiwork. After about a minute when she was sure the whiteout was dry, she started writing a new message: 'Nice guys like you shouldn't need to wear casts'. She looked up at Ron. "Now, you can do me."

"I beg your pardon?"

"My cast."

"Oh, right. Duh!" Ron crouched down and gently grabbed Bonnie's cast, looking for the right place to sign. In his search, Ron's palm accidentally brushed the back of Bonnie's leg, which caused her to giggle. "Sorry." Ron started to write on the toe of the cast: 'Here's to a healthier sole.'

Bonnie looked down at the message and laughed.

"I've never heard you laugh before…well, a nice laugh."

"I should do it more often." She sighed. "I just hope Tara comes out of her coma."

"Yeah. She's a nice girl."

"Ron, if I were to do something, would you be offended?"

"I guess it depends on what you wanted to do. I mean, there's nothing wrong with a surprise, just so long as it's not a prank, 'cause-"

Ron's chatter was cut off by a kiss, deepened by Bonnie placing her hands behind his head and neck. Bonnie broke away.

"Wow."

"Did you like it?"

Ron nodded. 'Kim never kissed me like that', he thought.

* * *

Kim struggled through the rest of the day. Shay was on her mind the whole time, less out of lust than of irritation. She stomped down the hallway, silently grumbling. She turned a corner. Ron was placing some books in his locker.

Kim sighed. It'd been some time since she had a dose of Ronshine. She ran towards him, a smile developing on her face.

She hugged him, like he was a life preserver in freezing waters. "Oh, Ron. I've missed this so much."

Ron returned the gesture, but without as much strength. "Hey, KP. How goes it?"

"It goes. So, how's the leg?"

"Doctor says the cast'll be off by Thursday."

"That's great." Kim exhaled. "So…I've had some time to think about the whole thing with Shay and…well, I've realized that looks aren't everything. Any chance that we can give us another shot?"

Ron rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know, Kim. I'm still a little broken up about last week. I kind of get the feeling that we, I don't know, rushed into the whole relationship thing." Kim's face fell at hearing this. "I'd love for us to be friends again, but I'm not sure about boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Oh. Well, that's cool", Kim said in a voice that seemed to crack with each syllable. "We _did_ kinda rush into it. I mean, not every guy and girl friend has a relationship."

"Glad you feel that way. Bueno Nacho after school?"

"I don't know. I've got a lot of homework to do."

"Oh, all right." Ron started to walk off, then turned. "By the way, you know what's weird?"

"What?"

"We haven't heard from Drakken or Shego in a long time."

"Yeah. That is weird."

Ron shrugged. "Hope nothing bad happened to them."

"Yeah."

* * *

Dora threw open the door of her apartment. She kicked off her shoes and plopped down on the couch.

"_Rough day at the office?"_

She turned with a start. Standing at the refrigerator and polishing off an apple was Shay. He tossed the apple core into the trash.

"So jumpy."

"Well, excuse me if I'm not accustomed to people breaking into my sanctuary."

"Really? Not even Possible?"

"Point taken. So, what brings you here?"

"Couldn't really say this at school with Possible lurking around. I'm taking off."

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah, that's kind of what 'taking off' means. I've done my part. Possible's heart and soul are crushed. What more can I do?"

"Okay. So, we'll be returning to our old ways and-"

"Whoa, whoa. Let's get this straight. I'm leaving. You're staying."

"But, Shego-"

"But nothing. If I'm running around, it'll look less suspicious than the both of us running around. Then, in a year or so, when Possible and Stoppable are in college, you can do the nard swap."

"Fine."

Shay took a seat in a chair across from Dora. "So…wanna fool around?"

The teacher regarded her associate with a disbelieving look. "You're serious?"

"Hey, I never got much of a chance to test my equipment. Of course, this is a limited-time offer."

"Yes. Yes. That sounds good." Dora slowly followed Shay to the bedroom, her mind ablaze with anticipation…and apprehension. The frustration that Dora felt at having her schemes backfire when she was male was compounded by the sexual frustration she felt at having a nubile assistant who wouldn't have given him a second glance under the best of circumstances. She was torn; she always wondered what sex with Shego would've been like, but she wanted desperately to be the man in that instance. Still, sex as a woman wouldn't be too weird, would it?

Shay motioned to the bedroom. "You coming?"

"Quite", Dora said with a smile.

* * *

Kim headed up the walkway to Bueno Nacho. The homework excuse was a way to give herself some time to think, as she was still hung up on Ron as 'more than a friend'. She caught a glance through the window and recoiled.

Ron was feeding Bonnie a chimmerito, and she looked to be enjoying herself.

Kim ran off in disgust, hot tears streaming down her face.

* * *

Dora's apartment had been set up with all the amenities one could need, such as a queen-sized bed. The bed came in handy if Dora needed a good night's sleep or if she was entertaining a gentleman caller, like she was at the moment.

The look of ecstasy on Dora's face as Shay thrust into her signaled that her prior feelings of uncertainty had all but disappeared. She would remember it as forty-five of the best minutes of her life.

She and Shay started to groan in unison, their faces twisted in desire. Shay rolled off of Dora, the both of them panting.

"Wow."

"Never knew that sex could feel so good?"

Dora scoffed. "I never knew that sex as a woman could feel so good."

"It is amazing. I think I might be bi, now." Shay jumped out of bed and walked out of the room.

"Where are you going?"

"To get changed." Shay grabbed a gun from the living room. He pointed it at himself, bathing him in a bright glow.

His face distorted, leaving him with eyelashes, a smaller, perked-up nose and full, pouty lips. His chest grew puffier, rounding into a pair of C-cup breasts. His hips and butt flared out, becoming shapely. His hands and feet shrunk into daintier forms.

"Ohhhh! It feels good to be back", Shego stated in her female voice.

Dora rushed to the living room and stared in awe of Shego's sexy form.

"See anything you like?"

"Shego, you look terrific."

"Don't I know it?". Shego headed into the bathroom. "Oh, and Drew?"

"Yes?"

"Go easy on that Rockwaller chick."

"Why?"

* * *

Ron and Bonnie sat on a park bench, enjoying each other's company. Bonnie leaned into Ron's chest, smiling. Within moments, her smile went from happy to something devious.

"_Humor me, here: how would you feel about some ideas I have about this?"_

"_How do you mean?"_

"_Think of it like variables in a math problem. You eliminate certain variables, you change the answer."_

"_What kind of variables?"_

* * *

Monday afternoon, Tara glanced on as Kim and Ron walked down the hall.

"She doesn't even know my name!"

Tara gasped in sadness and stormed into the ladies' room. Shay was staring at Kim and Ron when he noticed Tara out of the corner of his eye.

'Crying girls running into the bathroom. It's junior prom, all over again', he mused to himself.

* * *

Tara sat in a stall, crying. A knock at the door got her attention. "Occupied."

"What's up?"

"You don't sound like you should be in here."

"And you're crying like a little girl."

"Go away!"

"Okay, but I _was_ willing to listen to you." Shay started to walk off.

"Wait!" Tara wiped her eyes and threw the door open. Shay was standing right there.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

* * *

"Seriously, you're in love with Stoppable?" Shay could hardly contain his disbelief. He shook his head as he sped past the yellow light.

In the passenger seat, Tara rolled her hands around, searching for the right words. "There's something about him, you know? He's so cute and funny and sweet. Too bad he's with Kim."

"Does he know you like him?"

"No."

"You ought to be a little more bold with your feelings."

"Like how?"

"Well, maybe…nah!"

"No. No. What?" The car stopped at a red light.

"Maybe you could sneak into his bedroom while he's asleep and…" Shay leaned over and whispered into Tara's ear. The blonde's eyes went wide.

"Whoa. I don't think I could do that."

"Sure, you could. At my old school, I knew this chick that did it. The guy she did it to was putty in her hands."

"Really?"

"Yeah." The light changed and Shay took off again.

* * *

Tara paced around her bedroom. "…and she's always, 'Kim did this!' and 'Possible's always better than me!'. If she spent less time bitching about Kim and more time on her own stuff, she could have a pretty good life."

On her bed, Shay shrugged. "Or you could."

"What?"

"I bet if you were in her shoes, you'd make something of her life."

"Yeah, that's a nice thought, but how could that possibly happen?"

Shay grinned at Tara. "What's your number?"

* * *

Tara and Bonnie walked down the hall. Tara's cell phone rang. She picked it up. "Hello?"

"_Hey. It's Shay."_

"Hey."

"_You said you wanted Bonnie's life? I can make that happen."_

"Oh."

"_Meet me after school. I have something that could help."_

"That sounds interesting. All right. Catch you later."

* * *

In the overturned car, Tara pulled out a maroon-plated ray gun.

"_So, it's black, red, green, black, white?"_

"_Correct."_

She leaned as close as she could to Bonnie and pressed the buttons on the gun.

From outside the vehicle, a bright flash was visible to passers-by.

* * *

Bonnie guided Ron's face to her own and kissed him.

"_Don't worry about Bonnie...deep down inside, there's a good person. She doesn't show it very much, but it's there."_


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Two chapters left, friends! Hope you like how I'm wrapping this up.

* * *

Following dinner, Kim retreated to her room, unwilling to engage her family in conversation about her day. Even Jim and Tim's under-their-breath comments did nothing to rouse her from her funk.

Kim pressed her pillow against her face and screamed.

"_Does that mean I can come in?"_

Kim turned over in her bed. Mrs. Dr. Possible peeked her head through the door. She climbed up and made her way to her daughter's bed.

"Mom, I'm not in the mood to talk right now", Kim whined.

"Well, I have a day off tomorrow, so we'll have plenty of time to talk then."

Kim tossed the pillow away. "I made the wrong choice, Mom. I dumped Ron and went for Shay, then he turned me down."

"I'm sorry, honey."

Kim exhaled deeply. "Mom, it's like my life has been falling apart ever since Shay came to school."

"It happens, sweetie. A girl gets distracted by a pretty face and her brain short circuits. The door swings both ways. It happens to all of us."

"Did it happen to you?"

Anne cleared her throat. "The important thing is to pick up the pieces and move on. Before you know it, you and Ron can get back together." Kim groaned. "More bad news?"

"The worst. Ron and Bonnie are an item."

"Oh, yes. I saw her the other day. Now, this is off the record, but it seems to me that that accident did her some good. She seems a lot nicer now."

"This isn't making me feel better, Mom."

"Then try this on: she survived a traumatic ordeal and emerged a better person. You're telling me you can't do the same?"

"I guess I could."

"Of course, you can. Your father and I are always behind you, but it's hard if you give up."

Kim looked her mother in the eyes. She couldn't give up.

She wouldn't give up.

* * *

Monique stood in the hall in shock. She'd been witness to a number of peculiar things ever since she started at Middleton High. Evil genetic clones. Interdimensional creatures.

But nothing could've prepared her for this.

"You…and Bonnie."

"Yes."

"Together."

"Yes."

Monique locked her hands. "You mean, like, _together_ together?"

"Yes." Ron's patience was reaching its end.

Monique scanned Ron up and down, stopping on something she'd never seen on him before.

"Is that a belt?", she said, her pointer outstretched.

"_Yes, it is."_ Bonnie came from behind Monique and wrapped her arms around Ron's midsection. "No one should be seeing him in his underwear but me." Bonnie leaned in close. "Maybe less", she whispered into his ear.

Ron blushed at the statement.

Monique let out a nervous laugh. "I should be going. The weirdness level is off the charts here." With that, she took off in the other direction.

"Well, she probably had to get to class."

"Yeah." The bell rang. "I better get going, too."

Bonnie grabbed Ron's head and kissed him deeply. She broke away, a smile on her face.

Just as Ron walked off… "Did you just stick your tongue in my mouth?"

Bonnie nodded, coquettishly. "Mm-hmm."

"Thanks."

* * *

For the last few days, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews kept as constant a vigil as their work schedules allowed when it came to their daughter Tara.

They weren't terribly religious, but they prayed every day for her recovery.

As her husband was busy at work (after all, someone had to keep a roof over their head), Mrs. Matthews sat at her daughter's bedside.

"Honey, I may say this a lot, but I don't care. I love you. All I want is to hear your voice again. I don't care if I get nothing else in life." The woman buried her face in her daughter's hands.

The blonde girl twitched a little. A moan escaped her lips.

Mrs. Matthews glanced up. She gasped.

Tara opened her eyes. "Whoa", she murmured.

Mrs. Matthews threw her arms around Tara, nearly squeezing the air out of her.

"Tara! Oh, thank Heaven you're all right!"

The girl shook her head. "Where's Tara?"

* * *

It was a once in a blue moon occurrence that Bonnie could be seen in a Bueno Nacho. The spectators, of which there were a handful, were in awe of how much she was putting away.

Rufus couldn't believe his adorably beady eyes, but Ron stared dreamily as she wolfed down her fifth chimmerito.

Bonnie took a sip of her soda and daintily wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin.

"Wow."

"Really? That's all you can say?"

"I don't know what else _to_ say."

"Well, 'I'm impressed' is a pretty good start."

"I am. I just didn't picture you as the 'Bueno Nacho' type."

"You shouldn't judge a book by its cover." Before Ron could shoot her an 'are you kidding?' look, she continued, "and neither should I."

"Mainly, I figured that you'd want to stay thin."

"There's staying thin and there's not eating."

"Good point. You up for more?"

"Nah." Bonnie stood up. "I should get home. Got a ton of homework to do."

Ron got up and held the door for her.

"Thanks a _buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunch_." Bonnie was surprised at the belch that escaped her mouth. "Excuse me."

"At least, it came out the right end."

Bonnie giggled. "I guess so."

* * *

Just outside Tara's hospital room, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews conferred with Dr. Patel, the finest neurologist Middleton General had to offer.

Mr. Matthews glanced at his daughter. "The last hour, Tara's been insisting that she's Bonnie."

"Could this have been a side effect of the coma?"

Dr. Patel removed his glasses. "It is not uncommon. Coma patients, if they wake up at all, might suffer mild trauma. Sometimes, they speak in different accents. Increased impulses are not uncommon."

"What can we do?"

"Is she otherwise affected?"

"No."

"Any physical damage?"

"None."

"Be sure to bring her in if she suffers from any…episodes."

"We will."

Mr. and Mrs. Matthews entered the room, slowly approaching Tara.

"Honey, we're taking you home."

"'bout time. Has my mom been in to see me? I'll bet not."

Mrs. Matthews helped Tara out of bed, but the girl shook off the woman's assistance. She started to cry, but her husband held onto her. "It's okay. She needs time."

* * *

Kim trudged along the sidewalk. Between not finding Shay, seeing Ron with Bonnie and the massive amounts of homework, it'd been, to say the least, a trying day.

Suddenly, a hole opened in her path, down which Kim disappeared.

* * *

A hole opened up in what looked to be an underground boardroom. Kim popped in, her backpack in hand.

"_Kimberly, welcome back."_

Kim took a moment to get her bearings. "Back to…" Her focus adjusted. "Dr. Director. What's the sitch?"

"The…sitch is an unusual one. You faced off against Professor Dementor last week?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well, we caught him in an Ontario park. He didn't put up much of a fight, almost as if he wanted to be caught."

"That is unusual."

"It gets better. He asked to see you."

"He did? Why?"

"He refuses to say. He just kept asking to see you."

"Yikes."

"Fear not. He's securely locked up and, if anything should happen, you'll have back-up."

Kim shook her head. "Who?"

Stepping alongside the woman was a younger man whom Kim knew all too well.

"Will Du."

"Miss Possible."

"Thanks, Dr. Director, but I think I can handle myself."

Kim strolled into the interrogation room, sure of herself for the first time in weeks.

"Dementor."

"Fraulein Possible, you flatter me with you presence."

"So…" Kim pulled up a chair. "Why did you want to see me?"

A smile formed on the villain's face. This threw Kim off only a little. "I had spent time thinking about why Shego appeared all of a sudden in my lair that day."

"She wasn't working for you?"

"No, and I could never figure vhy. I could've offered her more than that _schweinhund_ Drakken ever could."

Having no time for news of the super villain rivalry, Kim rubbed the bridge of her nose. "You were telling me about Shego, I believe?"

"Anyvay, I'd noticed that, when I fired that gun at your boy toy, he ducked behind a rock. The same one from which Shego emerged. Before setting up operations, I checked every inch of that cave. There is no vay she could've come in from there."

Kim let Dementor's words sink in. A lot of things didn't add up in the last couple weeks. She started to think.

"Her hair vas so much shorter than usual that day, and certainly, one of my henchmen would've seen her coming."

Kim processed this information, as well. 'What is Dementor trying to say?' Kim had the conclusion on the tip of her brain, but couldn't quite pull it together.

"It's almost as if she appeared out of novhere."

She allowed her mind to drift to Shay. His piercing green eyes, his confident smirk, his styled mop of black hair…the way he'd call her 'Princess'…much like Shego would.

Kim blanched. She shook her head. It couldn't be…could it?

Dementor glanced toward Kim. "Something to say, Fraulein Possible?"

"What do you have to gain by telling me this, Dementor?"

"If I have to suffer, I should suffer alone? Besides, Shego vill lead to Drakken and the thought of his capture fills me mit joy!"

Kim's head was swimming. The guy she'd been flirting with the last couple weeks was…Shego?

Kim stumbled backwards, knocking over her chair.

"Fraulein, you don't look well." Dementor's tone was less mocking than genuinely concerned. "Did you eat something that didn't agree with you?"

"No." Kim forced herself to her feet. 'But I feel like I almost did'.

Behind the one-way glass, Dr. Director and Agent Will Du observed as Kim regained her balance.

"Agent Du, if I told you something in the strictest confidence, could you be trusted to keep it to yourself?"

The junior agent nodded. "Absolutely, Doctor."

"I'm worried about Kimberly", she said with a heavy sigh.

"If I may say so, I can understand. In spite of her brash ways, she could well be the daughter you never had."

"There is that, but I'm mainly worried that, in her emotional state of mind, she may do something that we'll have to take her down for."

"Should we shadow her?"

Suddenly, the door opened and Kim stepped through it.

"Kimberly, are you…all right?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely. Why wouldn't I be?"

Dr. Director and Kim shared an awkward look, neither wanting to let on what the other was thinking.

"Very well."

Kim cracked a half-smile. Her façade was slipping. She turned and walked away.

Dr. Director waited until the girl was out of sight before turning to her right-hand. "In answer to your question, Agent Du, yes."

* * *

Kim snatched her Kimmunicator from her locker and turned it on. "Wade, did you get a bead on Shego?"

The boy genius looked quite exhausted. "Not in the sixty seconds since you last asked me."

"Keep me posted." Kim switched off the device. She turned to find Monique, Ron and Bonnie staring at her with great concern.

"What's up?"

"KP, we're worried about you."

"Ron, what's to be worried about?"

"Let's see." Ron counted off on his fingers. "You've been bugging Wade about Shego's whereabouts, you've been muttering to yourself…"

Kim waved a hand. "You worry too much."

"Kim, I think we're worrying the right amount. We don't want anything to happen to you."

Bonnie chimed in. "Besides, the authorities will catch up with Shego before you know it."

Kim glared at Bonnie. "You back off. I still don't know what your game is."

Ron grabbed Bonnie's hand. "KP! Give her a break. She was in an accident."

Kim gritted her teeth, almost as if she wanted to respond, but relented. With a sigh, Kim leaned against the wall.

"Maybe, I am making too much of this."

Monique put a hand on her shoulder. "That's the spirit."

"I'm sure Shego will screw up sooner or later, and then she'll get arrested."

"Exactly."

"Thanks for helping me out."

Ron shrugged. "It's why we're here."

"Right now, Shego is the furthest thing from my mind."

* * *

Kim groaned as she dodged Shego's roundhouse kick, just missing her head.

The last few hours were a blur to Kim. She barely remembered lying to her friends (and Bonnie) about moving on. She barely remembered the forty-five subsequent communiqués with Wade. She barely remembered the rest of the school day (and Miss Dravinsky's titters at her irritation) or going home.

But Wade's news that Shego was in an abandoned factory just outside Denver was clear as a bell. Likewise, the ride she received from a cargo pilot. Kim wasn't her chatty self, as she said no more than three words to him: 'Get there fast'.

The catwalk the young women were fighting on was rickety, to be sure. Also, the fire that raged as a result of some flammable liquids catching the sparks from a busted light bulb was a factor. Kim, however, did something she rarely did in her missions: she let her emotions win out over logic.

"Geez, Possible. I thought you'd have more game than this. What, did some guy break your heart?"

Kim charged at Shego, tears streaming down her face. Shego dodged Kim's wild, barely coordinated strikes, like a toreador avoiding a half-crazy bull.

"Why? Why would you do this?"

"Hey, we should all experience life from the other side of the fence. Besides, you were just too easy." Shego sighed, impressed with herself. "I have to say I'm a pretty good actress."

"This whole thing was low, even for you and Drakken. Whatever happened to him, anyway?"

"A beach in Cabo, for all I know."

"The nerve of you, messing with my emotions!"

A snort from the (slightly) older woman. "Get a grip. I mean, it's not like you loved me…" A surprised laugh. It's sinking in. "Oh, my God! You were actually in love with me? Forget what I said before? I'm an excellent actress!"

With a howl, Kim charged at Shego. She flew at her with fist-foot combos that struck Shego, knocking her off of her feet.

Shego skittered backwards. "Taking this a little personal, don't you think?"

Kim narrowed her eyes. She positioned herself to deliver a roundhouse kick to knock Shego off of the catwalk. A creak from the other end of the catwalk interrupted her train of thought.

One end of the catwalk came loose. Kim and Shego held onto the railings as the catwalk became vertical.

Kim climbed up the catwalk, surpassing the pluming smoke of the fire. She glanced toward an open window. She pulled out her grapple gun and aimed. The catwalk shook a little. The gun slipped out of her hand.

"Well, there goes out only way out."

"Possible…" Kim glanced down at Shego. "For what it's worth…you will never do better than me."

Kim slowly descended the catwalk, as if climbing down a ladder. Her anger boiling over, she kicks Shego's hand.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" Shego held on as best as she could with her other hand.

Kim gritted her teeth. "If we were on solid ground, I'd be doing more."

"Are you really a killer, Kimmie?"

The redhead stopped to think about this. She never could bring herself to kill anyone, no matter what they've done. Though she came close with Shego the night of prom, Kim had no stomach for killing.

"No." Kim reached her hand down. "Grab my hand."

Shego threw her hand - the one that had been kicked - towards Kim, who took it. Kim struggled to pull her up, but she could not hold her wrist. It was almost as if Shego was squirming out of her grip.

With one last shimmy, Shego's hand slipped out. She fell into the smoke and flame. Kim stared in shock and disbelief.

"Shego!" Kim lowered herself to the edge of the catwalk and leapt off, trusting on faith that she wouldn't be splattered. She landed on a crate. Kim jumped off of it and onto another crate.

Two more crates later, she was on the ground. She couldn't see six inches in front of her, the smoke was so thick. Her vision became blurry. Kim, unable to deal with the smoke, collapsed to the floor.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: A little rushed, but here's the finale.

* * *

Kim's eyes opened. They blinked. Twice. Thrice.

She glanced around. This was, unmistakably, a hospital room. Her fingers felt soft sheets. Bandages surrounded her head.

She sighed.

At that moment, Ron walked in, a warm smile on his face. "Hey there, KP."

"Ron?" Kim stared, trying to make sure it was really him. He approached his friend and sat at her bedside. "Oh, Ron!" She had never hugged anyone as tightly or for as long as she hugged Ron.

"Good to have you back."

"Oh, man. I had the weirdest dream. I dreamt that Shego pretended to be a guy to seduce me, then I tracked her down and we got into a fight and she died. Have you ever heard anything so crazy?"

Ron let out a sigh. "Kim…"

"Yes, Ron?"

"I hate to tell you this, but this _is_ the dream."

"What?"

"Shego really turned into a dude to seduce you."

Kim shook her head worriedly. "No."

"Then you went crazy and tracked her down..."

"No!"

"…and the smoke inhalation is likely to kill you within moments."

"Smoke inhala-?"

Ron jerked away suddenly. The room disappeared from all around Kim. She fell to the floor.

The flames licked at her face as Kim drifted in and out of consciousness. She could barely make out a blurry figure coming toward her.

Her voice was too weak to form coherent sounds, so she could only muster light squeaking.

As Kim passed out once again, she felt herself get lifted out of the lair. If her voice had been functioning right, she'd have surely said 'thank you'.

* * *

Twenty-five minutes passed before Kim regained consciousness. She laid on a gurney in the back of a Global Justice plane.

She glanced over at Will Du, who had maintained watch over her.

"Where am I?"

"Miss Possible...Kimberly. Welcome back."

"Will Du?" Kim got over the shock of her conversation partner quickly. "Where am I?"

"On a GJ transport. I was ordered by Dr. Director to retrieve you."

"Where's Shego?"

"She wasn't found."

Kim's voice dropped to a shocked whisper. "What?"

"We did a sweep of the building. Whatever wasn't burned out-"

"You have to go back!" Kim practically leapt from the gurney. She grabbed the front of Will's outfit. "Shego's still there! I know she is!"

Retaining his composure, Will placed Kim's hands in front of her. "Kimberly, control yourself! Every square inch of that building has been run through by Global Justice with a fine-tooth comb. Assuming that Shego is still there, we'll find her."

"No, you won't. She's like a cockroach. You think she's dead, but she just pops up somewhere else." Kim struggled against Will's grip. "You have to turn around!" Kim shoved Will away.

Resigned, Will trudged toward the cockpit. The pilot, clearly having heard the whole conversation, leaned back.

"We turning around?"

"Of course not."

* * *

It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop in Dr. Director's office. The head of Global Justice stared at Kim, more disappointed than angry.

"Kimberly, can you tell me what happened?"

"Well, I tracked Shego to this factory-"

"Actually, I think I can do a better job of explaining. You let your emotions get the better of you in pursuing a known felon, which led, however indirectly, to said felon's demise." Dr. Director leaned on her desk. "Does that about cover it?"

Kim merely gulped in apprehension.

"Kim, you and your partner have done marvelous work over the last few years, but I can't help but think that you need to take a break from the world saving."

"Dr. Director, this was a one-time thing. I let Shego get into my head. I'm sorry about that."

"The fact that Shego's body wasn't recovered should be of some comfort." Kim regarded her with an 'are you kidding me?' look. "Otherwise, there'd be criminal charges filed." Dr. Director took a seat. "The world will always be here. You don't need to have it on your shoulders. Consider this a vacation."

Kim didn't know what to say that wouldn't make the hole she was in deeper, so she elected to say nothing.

* * *

Bonnie rested on her bed. She poured over her algebra textbook, scribbling in a notebook.

"_Bon-Bon!"_

She glanced up from her notebook toward the front door. It was Mrs. Rockwaller. While she missed her real parents, she thought it was nice to have such a doting mother, something she knew the real Bonnie never appreciated.

"What is it, Mom?"

"You have a visitor. It's Tara."

"Really?"

"Yes. She's really interested in seeing you."

* * *

Tara glanced around what used to be her room. Bonnie helped her to the seat in front of her vanity mirror.

"What the hell is going on?", Tara exclaimed.

"We were in an accident, remember?"

"I remember being in my own body!"

"Strange things happen like this. Usually in the movies, but still…"

"I want my life back!"

"I don't know. I mean, how can we switch back if we don't even know what caused it? Besides, it's not a big deal."

"How is this not a big deal?"

"Bonnie, you get a chance not a lot of people get. A fresh start. Things can get better for you."

Tara stared in disbelief.

"This sounds a lot better than you getting hauled away in trying to explain that you switched brains with me."

"It..._does_ sound a little crazy."

"Well, so does this: maybe, we'll figure out what switched us and then, we can get switched back. We just need to wait it out."

"I guess."

"That's the spirit." Bonnie ran a finger through her friend's hair. "I figured you'd look good as a blonde."

* * *

Dora Dravinsky may have been clueless about a number of things in her previous life, but even she knew to keep in shape.

She ran a steady jog on the treadmill, which garnered the attention of the males in the vicinity.

Dora stopped the machine and toweled herself off. She turned around. The men that were ogling her with great interest were looking elsewhere. She smiled as she sauntered off. They weren't fooling anybody.

* * *

Kim stepped into Middleton High. The events of the last couple weeks weighed heavily on her. However, she knew that she had to keep a cool head.

"KP!" Kim forced a smile on her face at seeing Ron running up to her.

"Hey."

Ron threw his arms around her. "It's good to have you back."

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"Not really."

"Still upset about Shego?"

"That, and I've been grounded."

"Don't worry about that. Working a little of the ol' Stoppable magic on Mr. and Mrs. Dr. P should-"

"Not by Mom and Dad. Dr. Director. I can't go off on missions."

"Oh. I guess I could go."

"I couldn't let you risk your life like that."

"Well, hey, it's just like a vacation!"

"That's what she said."

"Instead of Drakken and Monkey Fist, we have to face off against homework…and term papers." Ron paled. "You think if we ask really nice, Dr. Director will re-consider?"

* * *

Life went on in Middleton, as normal as one could hope for…with one wrinkle.

* * *

Night fell on Middleton. A lithe figure dressed in black rushed across the rooftops. A knapsack draped around her, she leapt onto a fire escape and ascended the stairs to an open window.

The figure shut the window behind them. It whipped off a ski mask to reveal the flowing locks of Dora Dravinsky. She rushed to her bedroom and emptied the contents of the knapsack onto her bedspread. All manners of moisturizer lay before her.

"I really must thank Shego for those tips she gave me."

* * *

Kim adjusted her backpack and glanced around her. She knew that Upperton University was large, but nothing could prepare her for actually setting foot on campus.

A fleet of frat boys whistled and howled at her. She could do little more than wave politely in response. The whole Shay situation had made her wary of embarking on new relationships. The only guy for her was currently making time with her hated (though not quite as much as before) rival.

She looked up at her new home. "Beacham Hall."

* * *

Kim knocked on the door of her dorm. She'd heard that she'd have a roommate, which filled her with a number of emotions. She'd never shared living space with anyone, much less another girl.

Kim set her luggage down and took a good look around. From the looks of the unfamiliar luggage on one of the beds, her roommate was already moved in.

"Hello?", Kim called out.

"_Hey, there."_ A voice called back. It had a light Southern twang.

"Where are you?"

"_Oh, shoot, where are my manners?"_ The girl popped out of a closet and extended a hand toward Kim. It was impolite to stare, but Kim couldn't help herself. This girl had bright hazel eyes, short blonde hair and freckles on either side of her face. It was like the universe was playing a cruel, cosmic joke on Kim.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. It's just…you look just like someone I know."

"I get that a lot. Name's Lorrie Ann Shea."

"Kim Possible."

"Not _the_ Kim Possible?"

"That's me."

"I've heard all about you. You still kicking bad guy tail?"

"No. I'm…retired."

"I bet you still got the moves."

Kim perked up at this. "Well, a little."

"You can show me later. Wait 'till I tell my folks I'm bunking with a celebrity!"

Kim giggled immodestly. She turned and took in her new room. "This place certainly has a nice view of the campus." Lorrie ran a hand through Kim's red hair, reveling in its silkiness. Kim glanced back.

Lorrie smiled nervously. "It's nice hair."

"Lorrie, is there something I should know about you?"

"I suppose. I like girls. Nobody back home knows. I don't think there's anything wrong with me, but not a lot of people would agree with that."

"Lorrie, I don't have much experience with that myself, but I believe that people are free to make their own choices in life."

Lorrie swayed toward the door and locked it. "I'm glad you feel that way." She rushed toward Kim, her additional five inches of height overwhelming the redhead.

Lorrie planted her lips on Kim's, giving her soft kisses. After a few moments, Lorrie broke away, leaving a surprised Kim.

"I guess I could've been a bit more subtle."

Kim stared at Lorrie, who glanced away.

"Please don't be upset with me."

"I'm not upset…that much. It's just that…I was in a bad relationship with this real jerk. His name was Shay."

"Not like me?"

"No." Kim shook her head. "He played me so bad, I haven't been with another guy since."

Lorrie slowly approached her roommate. "Kim…maybe it's not a guy you need."

Kim tried to back away, but Lorrie closed the gap between them. Their lips touched one more.

* * *

Shego's hand slipped out of Kim's grasp. She fell through a cloud of smoke.

"_Shego!"_

Shego hung to the back of a crate with one hand. She slowly climbed down a series of crates and jumped out of a window. She took a glance at the lair as it continued to burn. With purpose, she ran off.

* * *

She taped a picture of Ron to the bathroom mirror. On the counter sat a small plastic case, a pair of scissors and a bottle of bleach. She opened the plastic case. Inside were a pair of hazel contacts. She separated her eyelids with one hand and used the other to apply a contact to her eye. She grimaced at the sudden contact with her eye. She blinked and smiled; her left eye was now brown, a distinct contrast to the forest green of her right eye.

She picked up the pair of scissors and brought it to the base of her neck. With a sigh, she sheared her black locks. After some pruning, she was able to style her hair into a pixie cut.

She then glanced to the bottle of bleach.

"_So...you want three brown dots on either side of your face?"_

* * *

Shego sat in a chair, facing a burly tattoo artist.

"Yes, I do."

The tattoo artist stared at Shego. "You mean, like freckles?"

"Yes, like freckles."

The artist shrugged; he'd received weirder requests over the years. "Okay."

* * *

Kim and Lorrie continued to kiss, only now Kim was fully immersed into the experience.

"Oh, Lorrie."

"Oh, Pri-" Lorrie slipped her tongue into Kim's mouth, stopping herself before she could make another slip of the tongue. "_I have to say I'm a pretty good actress."_

* * *

A/N: I'll be the first to admit that this story didn't quite end up where a lot of you clearly thought it would. I might be stepping on some toes here, but, as I've said in the past, I have never believed in the idea that Kim and Shego would be all lovey-dovey over each other. My thinking on the matter is this: if the two of them did end up in a romantic relationship of some kind, it's because Shego tricked Kim into it. That's just me, though. Please don't interpret this as some black-and-white dislike of Kigo. (Honestly, the thought of two attractive women in a relationship gets my blood pumping.) To Alex Barker, I hope I didn't screw up your idea too much. I just decided to have some fun.

To all who did, thanks for reading and reviewing.


End file.
